The Innocent Flower

When Readers Email Me

2012-01-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

I get a lot of email, but most of it seems to be easily scanned and then deleted. You know, replies to comments I have left on blogs, Facebook and Twitter notifications, announcements and coupons from places I can't afford to shop (although I keep hoping one day I can afford it, so I don't unsubscribe from the mailing lists. Stupid, I know). That sort of stuff. Sometimes I get exciting emails from friends. Sometimes I get emails in response to posts here on my blog (I love those!), and sometimes wonderful conversations happen. Sometimes my publisher emails me, but most of our interaction happens on Skype. The point is that I spend a lot of time filtering through emails, answering emails, and performing tasks in response to emails. My Gmail is MY HUB. All my accounts filter to one spot. So I spend a lot of time there.

But what is my favorite kind of email? What keeps me afloat? I have to admit it's the unexpected emails I get from friends, and sometimes even complete strangers, telling me they just finished one of my books and really enjoyed it. Some readers keep these emails short and sweet. Some readers expound. I love them no matter how long or short they are. They are little bubbles of fresh air, exquisite reminders that I have accomplished reaching out to readers, no matter how small the audience.

Yesterday I received such an email from a very nice reader who just finished Cinders. Sadly, she used the email form on my contacts page - a totally fine thing to do - but she did not include her full email address and I cannot find her anywhere online. Trust me, I tried, for like an-hour-and-a-half because I cannot stand letting an email like that go unanswered. But I couldn't find her in any of my networks, lists, or online searches. Nothing. So now I'm posting here on my blog with a public thank you to her and everyone who takes the time to tell an author you enjoyed their work. You have no idea what that means to an author. In a career filled with so many ups and downs that it feels like I've constantly stepped off a roller coaster ride, it means the world.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

When Amazon Makes Your Book Free

2012-01-26T11:43:00.001-07:00

Apparently Amazon does this thing with books, and it's a random thing based on algorithms. They make books free in what seems like a completely random happenstance. I don't know much about this at all, honestly, but I thought I'd share my experience with it since it happened to me last week. I don't know if Amazon does this for traditionally published books or only books through their publishing arm, Create Space. I don't know why they do it. I'm assuming it's some marketing thing that brings them money in a roundabout way.

So my experience goes like this. I released my short story collection, True Colors, December 1st of 2011. I sold a bunch of copies, both printed and digital. Which I expected at first, and then I knew the sales would drop and die. Which they did. It's a short story collection. Literary short stories. I've never expected the book to sell a lot, which is one of the reasons I published it myself. It was a small personal project, and I intend to publish more of them in the future.

Anyway, moving on. In December, I held a month-long sale on all of my books. For all digital copies, I lowered the price to 99-cents. My publisher agreed to do this for Monarch, as well. Yay! The sale wasn't spectacular, honestly, and I doubt I'll ever go down to 99-cents again. Still, Monarch sales went up, but Cinders seemed to stay the same as usual for a good-selling month, and True Colors had just released, so I couldn't judge anything there. Then January rolled around. Not one sale for True Colors. My Cinders sales were a little higher than usual, and Monarch was continuing to sell better than normal, even at regular price. So that was great. But True Colors. Nada. Whatever. I'm fine with that. I only expect a few sales a month on that book.

Then I logged into my account on the morning of the 17th and I see 31 sales on True Colors. I was really confused. THIRTY-ONE? Then I checked again and it shot up to 37. Determined to find out what was going on, I looked up the book on Amazon. $0.00. What? I didn't make that free. I double-checked everything and then realized that the list price was still the same, so I was making money off all these downloads. I then discovered that Amazon had just randomly lowered the price to free on my book.

In all honesty, I was upset. How long would this sale last? Was I really going to make money on each download? Why did Amazon think I would want this? I just released the book, thanks very much. I don't really want it up for free. To me, that feels like it lowers the value on the book to nothing. Even with all these downloads, who will actually read the book?

I seethed for a little bit, upset that I had no say in this at all, but placated by the rising download number. Every time I refreshed the screen, the number went higher. How high would this go? I told my friend Natalie about it and she told me about a friend who had this happen with her book. She had thousands of downloads. Huh. Then I started researching a little. Other authors who have their books go up for free get thousands of downloads too. Maybe this wasn't so bad...

So I waited. And waited. Day after day the download number went higher, but it wasn't getting in the thousands. Not even close. Then Amazon put the book back to its list price on Monday afternoon. A solid week. I had a grand total of 279 downloads. Thousands, no, but it's a short story collection. I wouldn't expect that many, so I wasn't going to complain. My rank went pretty high on the book for a few days during the sale. It now has other books people bought listed on its page. That helps sales in the long run. So overall, this seems like a pretty positive thing. Some people might read the book. Some people might even like it. Some people might even buy my other work.

Here's something interesting, though. During those seven days that True Colors was up for free, I only had ONE sale on Cinders. I don't know about Monarch since I haven't asked my publisher about sales recently. After True Colors went back to list price, however, Cinders sales shot up again. Coincidence? I have no idea.

What I'm worried about might seem silly, but I worry that with Amazon offering books for free all over the place, and authors and publishers offering their books for really cheap (and by cheap I mean under $10 because that IS cheap for a book), that the value placed on literature these days is plummeting. When I go into a bookstore, I expect to pay about $12 - $15 for a book, and I'm still happy to pay that even after buying a Kindle. I will admit, however, that if I shop for a book to go on my Kindle, I expect the price to be below $5. I think that's pretty lame. I am, of course, shooting myself in the foot because I offer my own books for low prices, but they are also very short. Cinders is a novella and True Colors is a mere 14,000 words. Monarch is decently priced, but I didn't price that one. My publisher did. Perhaps this calls for another blog post. I'm not sure.

In the end, I have no idea about selling books. I don't know what's going to happen with the publishing industry. I don't know if the value on literature is really plummeting. All I know is that writing and publishing more books is what I want to keep doing. So that's what I'll keep doing.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

Looking Back and Why You Should Do It, Part 2

2012-01-24T11:54:00.001-07:00

I've found myself paralyzed many times in my career, as I talked about in yesterday's post, Part 1. I think sometimes we hit a wall (or shore or whatever it may be for us) and we come to a dead halt. We can't produce something as beautiful as that person created. We don't have the potential to rise above the major suckiness of what we've created in the past. Sometimes it feels that no matter how hard we are trying, it's like we're stuck on a treadmill never moving forward. Sometimes the treadmill breaks and we give up entirely. Because what's the point? Looking back on what you've created in the past, you either glow with pride or you cringe in shame. For me, that's how it was for a long time - until recently.

My friend Davin Malasarn, whom I blog with over on the Literary Lab, decided to gather some of his favorite short stories and self-publish them in a collection titled The Wild Grass. This was something I had always thought about doing, but never had the guts to do. I was proud of some of my old short stories, but I also cringed because they were so old. I am such a better writer now, right? I hoped at the time, anyway! As I watched Davin's progress on publishing the book, I thought, I can do that. I can do that. I can do that. I had self-published Cinders a year earlier, but this would be different. The only reason I had put Cinders out there was because I knew without a doubt it was good enough. It was a personal project I created just to self-publish. But my short stories? Old college crap? Even though some of them had been published before, this was a big leap.

But I did it. I put True Colors out there.

And let me tell you, I have learned something quite profound from this. It has been profound for me, anyway. I'm not sure if this will strike a chord with anyone else, but I can at least share!

What happened while I was putting together my collection and sending it off to a friend for edits was that I realized how much I didn't want to change about these old stories. Many of them have been published before, but that wasn't it. I thought for sure that I'd be tempted to completely overhaul everything. I mean, I structure sentences differently these days. I might start one story differently, or never use a verb the way I did, or even go out on a limb like I did in some of them. But the more I read through them, the more I realized how many of the stories encapsulate a certain time of my life. Changing them would be a sin. Changing them would be to erase something integral to myself, something I treasure even if it's not meeting my expectations of my finest writing. So I listened to my wise editor friend and accepted her slight suggestions here and there and left it at that.

I think self-publishing is beginning to create a bad sort of phenomenon these days, both for readers and for writers. I've seen this sort of thing happen in reviews: "This story is excellent except for this part and this part and this part. If the author changes these things, the book will work. And hey, Author, I see you self-published this. Why don't you go change those things and re-publish the book? You can do that, you know."

I am not kidding. I have literally seen that in reviews. More than once. It makes me want to throw a brick at something. The book is published, people. Unless the authors wants to do a second edition not based on random stranger feedback, I don't think the book is getting republished. But sadly, I think some authors feel like past work they've accepted and were once proud of is now not good enough because they're a better writer now, or they've read one too many critical reviews. They start to think about changing this and that and putting a new version out there. But would you really appreciate that as a reader? Knowing the book you bought last week is now heavily revised and you'd have to purchase it again to read the better version? By the way, I'm not talking about covers or other marketing things for a book - those change all the time. I'm talking about the actual published story. And it doesn't only happen with published material. Sometimes we look at the old stuff in our drawer and we think about rewriting it completely from scratch because, well, we think it sucks, and what's the point of doing anything with it if we can't bring it up to par?

But back to my point about appreciating what I've done in the past. I think reaching such a point has opened up a new kind of life for me. I work on my stories and novels now with much less anxiety. I'm not biting my nails 24-7 worrying about getting it perfect. I do the best I can with the talent I have at the time. And I write it. And I'm proud of it. And I move on. Revising and editing happen, yes. I learn as I write, yes. I always aim to make it the best it can be, yes. But there comes a point where we have to let go of what we've created and move on to the next project. If anything has taught me that, it has been my novel, The Breakaway, which comes out this May after literally seventeen years since the year I first wrote it. Talk about not being able to let go of a project. Finally, though, I will. Simple? Not exactly. Easy? No. Was it a mistake to keep holding onto that book? I don't think so because I finally learned something! I came back to it with the intention of calling it good and sending it to my publisher to see if they'd take it. I wasn't going to keep fiddling with it until the end of time trying to get it up to par to the way I write now. It is what it is and if nobody ever wanted it the way it was, well, it would have to live in my drawer. I had to move on. Will I want to change things about it once it's out? Heck. No.

And just to clarify, I think it's good for newer writers to work on a continuous project for a healthy amount of time, but I also think there's a point where the writer should accept that the project is either dead or completely finished, and then start another with the knowledge they gained from the last. I also think that point comes faster with the more we write and learn. The thing we have to remember is that the project is what it is and we should accept it. In my case, I published my old stuff because that was my way to get it off my chest and show that I am still proud of it. A creative career is not made up of what is our best now. It's made up of everything we are for the entire time we've been creating. That's pretty awesome if you ask me.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

Looking Back and Why You Should Do It, Part 1

2012-01-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

When I was in college, there was a literary journal called Touchstones. The people who worked on that journal were the essence of awesome. The people who were published in it, even more so. I wanted to get published in that journal so badly, so one day I started writing poetry. It was bad poetry. It was imitations of what other people had published in the journal. But bad imitations. Needless to say, none of them made it in at first. In fact, through ways I cannot even remember, I made it onto the submissions team for that journal one semester, and as we were sitting in someone's living room reading the submissions out loud and deciding what would go in and what was crap, I was mortified to hear one of my poems being read aloud next.

There were quiet laughs. Giggles. Someone even rolled their eyes.

These were anonymous, mind you, which was why anyone on the submissions team was allowed to submit pieces for possible publication. I was stupid and did. I also can't remember what was said about my poor little poem, but it wasn't nice. Brutal honesty. That's a killer sometimes. But, to my credit, I moved forward and kept writing. I enrolled in a poetry class. I started reading poetry more than I ate food. I started to live it, and then something amazing happened! I got better, slowly but surely. I stopped imitating others and started creating my own unique work.

But the point of this story isn't there. It's in what happened afterwards, when I kept writing and kept reading and kept learning and kept growing - all very necessary things! And one day I froze. In fact, I still freeze sometimes. I am paralyzed. I will open a book and see something amazing and I'll choke. I'll turn around to write something new and nothing will come out. All I can think about is the fact that I'm doing something wrong. I should be doing this better or that better.

I swear it's like I'm stuck in that living room listening to the giggles and watching that ETERNAL EYE ROLL over and over and over and over. And it's not even the fact that I'm comparing my work to other people's work, or that I'm afraid of what people think, or that I'm envisioning bad reviews. It's the fact that I'm comparing my work to what it could be. I keep remembering how ignorant I was about how bad I was and I fear that I am bad now and nobody is telling me. Everybody is just patting me on the head and being nice. The only way they would tell me the truth is if I happened to see a brutally honest reaction like I did back in college. (By the way, selling a book and seeing it published did not change these feelings for me in the slightest. In fact, it worsened them, as odd as that may seem.)

But you know what? That poem I wrote back then wasn't so bad. It was what I had written at that point in time. It was a place to begin, and I cannot be ashamed of it. I refuse to be ashamed of it no matter what my subconscious thinks when it paralyzes me. It just seems to me that the more we learn about our craft - about any artistic craft we pursue - the more we see the potential of where our work can go, and that is frightening. The more we travel along our path, the more we can look back and see how far we've come and how "bad we were" at some points and thought we were all that and a bag of chips. It hurts, and quite frankly, it can be terribly embarrassing. There's more to this, but I'm saving it for another post.

If you've felt any of this, how have you pushed past these feelings and kept working? Or do you think you're still stuck sometimes? In my next post I'm going to talk about how I've learned to look forward and push past being paralyzed. It was a hard leap, but I don't regret it in the least.

Find Part 2 here.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

Easy French Bread

2012-01-23T06:10:00.000-07:00

Due to a lot of interest on Facebook when I posted a picture of some bread I made, here's the recipe for my easy French bread. This makes one loaf. And since I love food, I took pictures along the way. Enjoy!

Easy French Bread

1 cup warm water
1 tbsp yeast
2 tbsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp oil
2-4 cups flour

Measure one cup warm water (about 110 degrees) into a medium-size bowl. Add the yeast and sugar and let grow for a few minutes (about 5 - 8 minutes). Should look something like this - at least this is what mine looks like when I use active dry yeast.

Next, add the salt and oil and then start adding the flour gradually. Stir with a spoon. It should look like this.

Keep adding flour until you start to get a thicker dough and it pulls away from the edges of the bowl as you stir. Once this happens, dump the dough onto a floured, flat surface and start kneading!

Keep adding flour until you get a nice, smooth, somewhat sticky and elastic dough.

Grease a bowl with some oil and pull the dough into a lovely little ball. Drop it in the bowl and cover with a towel.

Let the dough rise until doubled. This can take 30 minutes or more depending on how warm of a place you are. In the winter, I put my oven on warm and keep the oven door open to warm the kitchen enough. In the summer, I just put the bowl in a sunny spot.

When the dough is doubled, punch it down and let it rise again. I've found it doesn't take as long to rise the second time around. Some say the second rise is pointless, but I like to do it anyway. I think I get a better texture out of my bread when I do. Start heating your oven to 375 degrees. When the second rise is finished, punch the dough down again and shape into a loaf on a pan. I like to use a cooking stone.

I like to cut slashes in the bread, although I'm not sure you have to. This time I followed a friend's suggestion and brushed the loaf with some water before putting it into the oven. This is supposed to make the crust more chewy. And I guess the more you brush on during baking, the chewier crust you'll get!

Put the loaf in for about 30 minutes at 375 degrees. Bake until golden brown and the loaf sounds hollow when you tap it. Take it out and cool on a cooling rack.

Cut and enjoy! I love it with butter, but I love butter. Enjoy!

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

There Are No Right Answers

2012-01-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

I am still kicking myself for not bringing a camera to get a picture of the book group I visited this past week. I forgot to do this last time I visited a book group, as well. This particular one chose Monarch as their book for January, and I couldn't have been more thrilled when they asked me to join them as their guest author. What made it even more special is that this group is based in my hometown and it has been a dream of mine to do things like this in the place I grew up. So thank you to Cari's book group for such a wonderful evening.

One of the members was wearing a pretty butterfly necklace, which made me smile. We talked for nearly two hours about the book and answering questions from the reader guide. The best thing of all was sitting in a room with ten other people holding my book in their laps. It was a little surreal!

One thing I realized during the book discussion is something I've always know, but keep forgetting. The group passed around a jar of papers, each one with a question from the reader guide I mentioned above. The hostess for the evening joked that I would be able to tell them if their answers were correct. I laughed and said, "There are no right answers for these questions."

And that is undeniably true.

Spending the evening with a roomful of readers has opened my eyes. I hang out with a lot of writers, so it was fascinating to see the different reactions to the book and the different answers given for each question. Everything discussed was untainted by a writing perspective, so some of the answers surprised me and brought even more depth to the story I had written - things I had never even considered before. I might even join this book group because I think I can learn a lot from spending time with everyday readers. What happens inside someone's head when they read a story is an amazing thing. A story I create will always mean different things to every single reader, and I think that's one of the most exciting things about being an author - knowing your story becomes bigger, different, and more unique with each different reader.

Visiting book groups is something I would love to keep doing throughout my career since it's possible to do visits over Skype, as well as in person. My novels seem to lend themselves well to book groups. It's exciting to find a little space where they fit!

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

"Real Life is Just Like High School"

2012-01-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

A really great friend of mine emailed me about yesterday's post. She said some amazing stuff to me, as she always does, but the best thing she did in that email was share a video with me that made me laugh pretty hard because of how true it is. I'm turning 32 in March. For me, that number seems pretty high. That means when my next book comes out in May, it will have been FOURTEEN years since I graduated high school. Fourteen. 14. No matter how I write that, it seems insane that so much time has gone by because I swear it was just yesterday. To those older than me, you may be laughing and saying I'm still a spring chicken! To those younger than me, you may be wondering what it's like to be thirty-two.

Honestly, it's not that much different than twenty-two. At least that's how it feels right now. I see how I've matured, how much I still need to grow, how much I've learned and lost and loved and accomplished and all that, but I am still the same person, and the world with all the people in it - well, in so many ways, it still seems the same as when I was in school. The same base issues. That's why this video struck me as so hilarious. Sadly hilarious. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

And yes, for how much I love this video, that would be my cynical side (I mentioned in my last post) coming out. But, on the flip side! The good thing is that even though real life often seems like it's just like high school, I don't think it has to be a bad thing - and how you view the world is entirely dependent upon, well, yourself.

Staying Me, Staying You

2012-01-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

For me, it seems the internet hasn't been much different than my experiences in high school or my first real job complete with office politics and drama. I stop and think, duh, because of course anywhere you go where there are people, there is going to be politics and drama. My most personal drama? Fitting in. I struggled with fitting in when I was in high school, and the job I kept through college. And college itself. And now this thing called "real life" where I happen to spend a lot of time on the internet. I don't...ever fit in. Sometimes it looks like I do, but I don't. Not really. I never have. And all this not-fitting-in my entire life has created inside me a deep desire to remain different and odd - the kind of oddness that often leads to people thinking they like me for awhile and then letting go once they realize who's really beneath my sugary shell. Do I have a sugary shell? Hmmm...

The truth is that I am cynical and bitter with some sugary-sweet streaks running through it all. This strange mixture shows up in my writing, I think, which is why it will never truly balloon into something completely popular on a viral scale because it can leave an uneasy feeling. Not that I really desire to be that popular because I don't think I could take it. Then again, I look at some writers who stick to their very odd selves and do just fine. But what else can we do? We stick to what is us unless we start selling ourselves short (which I'm afraid happens quite frequently without us realizing it). I've sold myself short on many things in my life, but as I'm hiking through my thirties now, I'm starting that hike into a place where I'm finally figuring out who I really am. It's a lonely hike, for the most part, and feels very private, which is one of the reasons why I've been distancing myself more online.

I was really happy when I pulled away from the internet completely and wrote like a mad-woman on my novella Cinders in 2010. It felt so naughty to close my blog and tell the publishing industry to go take a freaking hike. That would be my rebel-self coming through. I've grown beyond that now, however. It was a necessary step. Now I suppose it's not me being cynical as much as it's me realizing what I need to do to stay me. If that makes any sense.

I think so often, especially in this age of the internet and immediate public responses, we tend to lose sight of who we really are and what we really want. We start thinking along the lines of what will get a response, what other people like to hear, what people complain about hearing, etc. For instance, I've heard that it's stupid if you post on Twitter and Facebook what you are eating. Who wants to hear about what you're eating? So I stopped posting what I was eating for a long time until I realized, HEY, I LOVE FOOD, and I'll post about food if I dang well want to post about food. So I did. And I still do. And that has carried over to this blog where my intention this year is to blog about what is truly me and not only things catered to what I think people want. That seems happily genuine! Which is what we all crave, isn't it?

This is what has happened for me. I can't really speak for anyone else, nor do I intend to. You may not care a jot about what other people think, in which I say I like you very much. And if you're like me and you get constantly distracted with what other people think and want, I like you very much. Because we're in the same boat. Want to jump out of it with me?

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

If You Really Knew Me ...

2012-01-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Tess Hilmo for starting this little idea of "If you really knew me..."
_________________

If you really knew me, you'd know that I am terribly absent-minded, but wish I was not.

If you really knew me, you'd know that my most creative moments come in the shower (or long car rides) when I'm halfway asleep.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I like to eat very odd things like liver and onions, green olives, tomato and peanut butter sandwiches, and lightly salted raw potato.

That I suffer from a right shoulder that constantly dislocates and causes me ridiculous amounts of pain and fear.

That I love being a mom more than life itself, but that one beautiful, amazingly intelligent, energetic little girl is enough for me and that I really get irritated when people judge me for only having one.

That I'm bugged by closed-minded people who think there is only one right way (their way) to view the world and the people and things in it.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I may seem to know what I'm doing, but I really have no clue. Winging it. Life. Everything.

That I spend way too much time not sleeping and that I fear my life will be cut short 15 years because of this lack of sleep.

If you really knew me, you'd know what I want most out of life is to connect to others on a level I have yet to understand.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I love others so deeply that it almost hurts.

If you write your own "If you really knew me" post, please let me know! I'd love to learn more about you.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

Every Man

2012-01-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

Finding a Match

2012-01-13T08:47:00.001-07:00

Yesterday evening, after a trying day with things coming at me from all angles, I did my hair and put on some nice clothes and went out with a friend to Marissa Meyer's book signing for her debut, Cinder. Why was I excited for this? First of all, there's the title resemblance:

But more than that, Marissa is just plain sweet, and her book sounds really great. Cinderella as a cyborg. Yeah, awesome! During the signing, I ran into a girl I vaguely recognized, and was surprised to find out she was in a play with my husband a few years back. She has started writing, and the best thing of all? She writes literary fantasy that's kind of adult, kind of YA, and deals with fairy tales and legends. Um, sound familiar? Yes! I really haven't met anyone else in my immediate vicinity who writes in that vein. (If you read this blog and happen to write in that vein, please oh please email me!) Needless to say, we hit it off.

In all honesty, I've felt very alone in my writing journey when it comes to genre. I don't really fit anywhere, and nobody has seemed to write a real match to what I'm writing. I've wondered for a long time if this is important or if it's anything I should worry about. Has it ever mattered to you that you find writer friends who write similar work as yours? These writers may end up as your valuable beta readers, and it's always nice to talk with someone who really understands what you're doing, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary. It's nice, all the same. A bit comforting. For me, writing Cinders was a shot in the dark, but I've quickly found that as I've written the two companion novellas, I'm settling into a genre I adore more than any other I've ever written. I might have just found my niche.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

I Did Not Disable Comments to Punish Anyone

2012-01-11T08:12:00.002-07:00

Since I have disabled comments on this blog, I've received a lot of emails concerned about why I chose to do such a thing. I wasn't going to mention this on my blog, but I figure a post is in order since many of you seem genuinely concerned.

First of all, I've been considering the decision for a long time now. At least six months. So this wasn't a rash decision, nor was it done out of anger or because someone upset me. As anyone who has ever stopped by here and read any of my posts knows, I have had a difficult past year adjusting to some big changes in my life. I've explained a few of those things here on my blog, but publishing is not the only thing that has been hard for me this past year. Other personal things, which I choose not to talk about anywhere online, also affected my decision.

Secondly, I've been pulling back on a lot of things the past few months. I no longer display books I'm reading on my Goodreads shelves. You'll find them empty because I feel what I'm reading and what I think about what I'm reading is very personal to me, and I'd rather not have it all advertised. That might mystify some people - maybe even anger some people - but when a lot of what I do these days writing and reading-wise is public, I'd like to keep something in that arena private. As far as reviewing books goes, I don't. I will endorse books as a fellow author, and I will recommend books and sometimes host them and the author here on my blog, but I do not leave public reviews. That is a completely personal decision and not a judgment on anyone who chooses to write and post public reviews.

I've also stopped following a lot of blogs and kept following ones I genuinely want to read. These are usually blogs authored by people I have grown close to online and/or offline. I do consistently take a chance on new blogs and authors whom I meet in my social networks, and will continue to do so. I like to keep expanding and getting to know people (because so many of you are awesome!), but I have slowed way down.

And recently, on the same day I disabled comments on this blog, I deleted my private Facebook profile. I have kept my author page up on Facebook, so I am still on there and I am still very active on that page. I've also deactivated a private writing blog I used to maintain, and I've tried to keep Twitter following under control too.

Why have I done all this string-cutting? Well, like I said, the reasons are personal, but I can tell you it partly has to do with me distancing myself a little more, but still remaining accessible. As you can see in my sidebar, I make it very easy for readers to contact me if they wish. I am on Twitter, Facebook, and other social network sites. I am also on The Literary Lab blog, where I post at least once a week, and where we have fun, lively discussions in the comments section. That is a blog where I can talk about craft and publishing and reading with those who love that sort of thing. It's definitely a place for me to meet new people, as well.

I am not disappearing.

Nor am I trying to cut you, my readers, out of my life. Or punish anyone. I am simply taking a necessary step to making this blog more of what I need in my life right now, as well as keeping it up-to-date, informative, and (hopefully) entertaining to my readers. As much as I love getting comments on my posts, for me they were becoming a way to validate everything I said here. I would wait with baited breath every time I published - just waiting for the first comment to see if my post was going to be received well. Then I'd wait and wait and wait all day to see how many comments I would accumulate. It's not that I didn't care about what you were saying in the comments - the content was always fabulous - but the whole setup of comments, public interaction, etc., had finally reached a point inside my head that I had to say, no more!

My blog has become a personal space for me where I'd like to openly share my thoughts without feeling like they must be validated or read by any specific amount of people. I keep my email available if any of you would like to contact me about a specific post. I figure if you really want to let me know you read and appreciated something here, or if you want to start a conversation, or you have a question, you'd tell me through email, or chat, or through a social network site. And did you know you can directly comment through Google Reader? Just click the email link at the bottom of each post. Likewise, you can also click the Email Post link at the bottom of each post here on the blog (it's the little envelope). Simply type in my address to email me the post and write your comment in the message box.

If you choose to email me, I will always respond, just as I have always responded to comments here. I am also still commenting on other blogs, as usual. And I will enable comments here if I ever host a guest blogger or publish a post where I would like readers to be able to answer publicly.

I hope all of this clears up any confusion for anyone who felt uncomfortable with my sudden decision. And I apologize if this seems harder for you to interact with me, or me to interact with you, but I honestly think email interaction means a lot more, and I would get to know you better that way.

Thank you to every single person who will keep reading here. I appreciate all of you, and if I haven't already, I hope to get to know you through other channels outside of the comments section here.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

How I Celebrate My Writing

2012-01-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

I've spent my entire life creating things. When I look back on my most depressed times, I notice they were voids filled with no creating. I wasn't writing. I wasn't taking photographs. I wasn't drawing. I wasn't doing anything to add something to the world, no matter how insignificant those little things might seem. So when I started writing again after a very long five-year break, I was excited, to say the least. I had spent those five years learning photography, but for me nothing seemed to compare to words on a page. So it's only natural that I would want to celebrate that, right?

Well, it's not as easy as it sounds, sadly, which I'm sure many of you might have discovered, as well. It seems like many artists spend more time criticizing their work than celebrating it. That's a necessary step in the creative process, I think, and one nobody should skip. Looking at your work with a critical eye is imperative to growth. However, I do think there is something to be said about pure, raw celebration.

Some might say publication is the ultimate celebration of creativity. Publication. Showcasing. Whatever way there is to share art with the world. In a way, it is a great way to celebrate, but I don't think it should be the ultimate way to celebrate. My husband is an actor, and when he's on the stage, that's his way of showcasing his talent and what he has created with a certain character. At the end of each performance, the audience claps. That's a sort of celebration, but it's not what the actors see as their own celebration because they always close the show's run with a cast party. When my books are released, I throw a launch party. I used to think that was the best way to celebrate my work, but I was wrong. (Not that I'll stop doing those. They have their place, for sure.)

I think there's a way to celebrate in order to allow others to celebrate with us, but true celebration seems to happen on a completely private level, at least for me. I've noticed it's not holding my book for the first time, nor is it typing The End, nor is it getting that first email from someone who truly appreciates my work. It's something deeper, something that never ends.

cel·e·bra·tion/ˌseləˈbrāSHən/

Noun:

The action of marking one's pleasure at an important event or occasion by engaging in enjoyable, typically social activity.
A celebratory event or series of events.

For me, the first definition of celebration feels so finite, and almost shallow in a way, when I consider what I'm celebrating - something so integral to who I am. The second definition, however, opens up my thoughts and helps me understand that in order to truly celebrate my writing, I have to celebrate not the projects I accomplish, but the fact that I am creating things in the first place. I celebrate the creative process. And how do I do that? By creating more and more. I keep writing. I keep learning and growing.

So, in a lot of ways, celebration is motivation. My husband doesn't do one play and then call it good. He's constantly acting in plays. I'm constantly writing stories. It never ends, and I don't want it to. I think that's the ultimate celebration of our art - to keep creating. To never give up no matter what the outcome of each project. It's definitely a motivation for me when I want to quit because I go through a spell thinking everything I create is awful. Instead of wallowing, I will celebrate.

Celebrate. Create. Live.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

I've Discovered a New Corner

2012-01-09T18:25:00.000-07:00

I've discovered a new place where I can put all those little random things that never had a home before. It's like a junk drawer of fun! I don't feel any pressure on Tumblr at all, which makes it a nice stress reliever for me instead of just one more thing to do. If you've wanted to know more little things about me as a person, Tumblr is the place I'll put them.

Also, If you're on there, go over and friend me. I'll return the favor because I'd love to see what you have on there too. Happy tumbling.

Find me on Tumblr!

Also, you can have easy access to my Tumblr account using the button up there at the top titled Random Bits. Totally random, I know. Hah.

If you would like to comment on this post, send an email to michelledavidsonargyle@gmail.com or click the Email Post link (the little envelope) at the bottom of the post. Type in my address to email me the post, and write your comment in the message box. Or, you can click on Contact in the tabs above and use the embedded email box to send me a message. I respond to all non-spam emails. Always.

"White" - A Vignette Published Today in Vine Leaves

2012-01-05T17:19:00.001-07:00

Do you know what a vignette is? The online magazine, Vine Leaves, describes a vignette as "a word that originally meant 'something that may be written on a vine-leaf.' It’s a snapshot in words. It differs from flash fiction or a short story in that its aim does not lie within the realms of traditional structure or plot. The vignette focuses on one element, mood, character, setting or object. It's descriptive, excellent for character or theme exploration and wordplay. Through a vignette, you create an atmosphere

I adore vignettes. I haven't written a lot of them because, honestly, there really aren't a lot of places to publish such things. I am happy to announce, however, that today my vignette, "White," is published in the online literary journal, Vine Leaves.

Check it out for free. I'm on Page 3. Look, it rhymes!

Take time today to read something that only takes a moment. I often find it's the littlest stories that touch me the most deeply. Perhaps that's because I remember them better, or perhaps it's because they concentrate on a mood more than plot. Who knows, but I love them! Vine Leaves is filled with such beautiful little stories. I'm excited to start browsing through it! Hope you do, too.

What Did I Do All Freaking Year?

2012-01-03T09:17:00.001-07:00

I officially call 2011 The Year of No Writing. It was super lame, actually. I started off the year with a finished novella, Thirds, in January, I think, and then I ran into a wall. Oh, I dabbled here and there with my new novella, Scales. I rewrote some chapters in my novel, The Breakaway, and two very short stories. And that was it. Really. I think I wrote a grand total of 20,000 words. Whoop-de-do. Some of you wrote whole novels. Several of them. Some of you read like 100+ books. I read maybe ten, and most of those unpublished manuscripts. Not a waste, but seriously, what did I do all freaking year???? I'm not comparing myself to everyone else, really, but I am looking at the list of what I accomplished compared to what I've done in past years and what I think I should be doing. So what did I do?

I worried. A lot.

I worried some more.

I whined on the blog.

I whined in real life. A lot.

I worried some more.

I released a novel! YAY! This was one of the most productive things I did, but Rhemalda Publishing really did most of the work. I just raked in the excitement and then whined about everything else. Still, it happened. WIN!

I compiled all my short stories and released them. YAY! This was also very productive, so WIN!

I at least started my novella, Scales.

I signed a contract for The Breakaway. That's coming out this May. WIN!

But, I think the biggest thing I accomplished this year was adjusting to my new job as a published author. I spent a lot of time figuring out what I want, what I have, and where I want to go. And guess what? I did figure it out. It took a lot of worrying and whining, and 12 solid months, but I figured it out.

Sometimes I wonder if all new published authors go through this kind of adjustment. Am I the only one who needed an entire year to figure this thing out?

Anyway, 2012? It includes writing a lot more. Reading a lot more. Releasing some new exciting things that I can't tell you about yet, and much less whining. So, all in all, 2011 wasn't totally wasted, but I sure do plan on making this year more productive in the career arena. How about you?

For My Husband and Any Serious Sword Lover

2012-01-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

If you didn't already know, my husband loves swords. He loves them so much, that his dream job is to use them every day for a living. He has already done that many times for local plays and films. Fight choreography is something a lot of people don't think about. All that fighting in Star Wars? Yeah, somebody choreographed all that and teaches the actors how to do it correctly and safely. Who did all the fighting in Vader's costume? Bob Anderson. Who headed up all the fight choreography in Lord of the Rings? Bob Anderson. You can guess that my husband adores him. I do, too. He was incredible. He even worked with Errol Flynn back in the day. Totally freaking awesome, my friends.

So it was very sad to discover yesterday that Bob Anderson died. Here's an article from The Guardian:
__________________

Bob Anderson, a former Olympic swordsman who staged fights for films including the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings series, has died, British fencing authorities said today. He was 89.

The British Academy of Fencing said that Anderson died early on New Year's Day at an English hospital.

Anderson donned Darth Vader's black helmet and fought light saber battles in two of the three original Star Wars films, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.

The villainous character was played by David Prowse and voiced by James Earl Jones, and Anderson's role was not initially publicised.

But Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker, said in a 1983 interview that "Bob Anderson was the man who actually did Vader's fighting."

"It was always supposed to be a secret, but I finally told (director) George (Lucas) I didn't think it was fair any more," Hamill told Starlog magazine. "Bob worked so bloody hard that he deserves some recognition. It's ridiculous to preserve the myth that it's all done by one man."

Robert James Gilbert Anderson was born in Hampshire in 1922. He served in the Royal Marines during the second world war and represented Britain in fencing at the 1952 Olympics and the 1950 and 1953 world championships.

His first film work was staging fights and coaching Errol Flynn on swashbuckler The Master of Ballantrae in 1952.

He went on to become one of the industry's most sought-after sword masters, working on movies including the James Bond adventures From Russia With Love and Die Another Day; The Princess Bride; The Legend of Zorro; and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Fencing academy president Philip Bruce said on Monday that Anderson was "truly one of our greatest fencing masters and a world-class film fight director and choreographer".

Anderson is survived by his wife Pearl and three children.

Bittersweet

2011-12-31T17:22:00.001-07:00

Taking down the Christmas decorations every year, I always feel a specific sort of starkness looming over me. January. It always seems gray to me. My house seems bare. I breathe in the smells as I wrap things up and put them in boxes. Cinnamon. Candle wax. Whatever pine cones smell like. It all gathers together and it's the same scent every single year. Tuck it all away. Step into a new year with new ambitions and passion. Neil Gaiman said to make mistakes, and I keep telling myself that as I wrap up the ornaments in tissue paper and pull beads off the tree. A few weeks ago, I didn't want to bother putting any of this up, and now I'm mourning it like the death of a dear friend. These are the moments I need to tuck away. This year, there is no snow yet. Flowers are blooming in some places and I think of mistakes and I wonder if mine are like flowers in December, coming at the craziest times only to be buried in snow weeks later. It's hard to know when or what will happen. In fact, it's impossible and I prefer it that way as I vacuum up the last of the pine needles from the tree - this bittersweet taste in my mouth, the sun setting outside as a new year welcomes me with open arms.

If You're Feeling Inferior, This is Probably Why

2011-12-29T13:44:00.001-07:00

When You Allow Others to Decide Your Dreams

2011-12-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

As much as I keep telling myself I won't put up these kinds of posts anymore, I just can't help it. And it's my blog, anyway, so I have to keep reminding myself that I can do whatever I want here. So here goes some thoughts and rants and everything else in between - all colliding into a final realization that will change the way I think about the coming year and the rules we make for ourselves.

I took some needed time away from blogging and networking and when I came back yesterday morning, I had a panic attack. I looked at other author's book stats on Amazon. I started comparing. I read blog posts about how well people are doing with their sales and such. I looked at what I've sold with my 99-cent sale this month on all of my books, and I got depressed in comparison to how I wanted the sale to go. And yes, I know 99-cent sales are not magical cure-alls, but no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to catch up to everyone else I think I should be caught up with. Authors who have released later and fewer books are soaring past me in almost every way possible. For the past few weeks, I've been thinking about how much I've screwed my career by not writing in one genre. I wonder if I'll ever be bigger or if I'm doomed for the rest of my career to lackluster sales. In my pitiful self-wallowing, I threw a wad of tissues across the room.

Poor, poor me. My poor little ego being deflated so terribly. Over and over and over.

*insert eye roll here*

And if you're rolling your eyes, too, because you think I have no reason or right to be depressed and feel sorry for myself, just read to the end of the post.

My little panic attack is all really just stupid and pointless because wallowing and crying isn't going to fix a damn thing. Comparing isn't going to fix anything or do anyone any good. Spending the little time I have on marketing to the pool of readers whom I've already reached isn't going to do any good. Online marketing, period, doesn't seem to do much good. At least not for me at this point in my career.

Yesterday was my nine-year wedding anniversary. NINE YEARS. I swear it was yesterday we got married. This made me stop and think. When I first married my husband, I had these morphine-drip-like dreams that the rest of my life was going to be perfect. The night before last we went to a movie and dinner, and between the two we stopped at Barnes & Noble where I went up and down the aisles touching all the book spines. I found books belonging to friends of mine. I found my friend Tess Hilmo's book and took a picture because her writing path seems to have been more difficult than most, and I'm really proud of what she's accomplished.

I'll admit that while I'm thrilled for Tess, a part of my heart broke that my own books aren't on the shelves of my own city's large bookstore without me having to go in there and ask them if they'll stock it. Which I doubt they would short of me giving them copies on commission. Then I thought of my nine-year marriage again, and I thought of everything we've been through together - how the years have been completely different than I thought they would be. We don't have a house yet. My husband isn't through school yet. We only have one child (which is all I want, but when I first married, I thought I'd want more). We've had stints of time where we can barely buy food. We've had our share of arguments and hard times. It seems in a lot of ways, though, we are behind a lot of others our age, but the point about all of that is that I've made peace with all of the things I thought would happen by now, and haven't. I didn't marry my husband on the condition that we had to reach certain milestones or own certain things to be happy. I married him because I love him. Period. And I'm lucky to have him and my daughter. So lucky it makes me humble just thinking about it.

So I stop and I think about my choices so far. I think about why I chose to go with a small press, and in a lot of ways, it's like a marriage. I didn't sign with them on the condition that I would only be happy with a certain amount of sales or marketing or fame or whatever. I knew going in that they are small and the pros and cons that go with it, just like pros and cons with any sized press. And for some stupid reason, I keep forgetting the reasons why I'm doing any of this. As a friend of mine made it very clear to me yesterday morning, I've been allowing everyone else to decide my rules. I've been ignoring my own wants and goals for so long that the only option left was to let other author's dreams determine my own.

Except...

Well, for the first time in a long time - because I've been having such a hard time lately inside my head and heart - I stopped to examine my own dreams. MY OWN. Like holding up a translucent piece of tracing paper to the dreams I've drawn all over the walls, I started sketching what I really want against what everyone else seems to want. It didn't surprise me when I saw how everything differed. Before I knew it, I was looking at a very familiar picture - one which originated when I was a child: a picture of me writing.

Writing stories and learning to tell them better. That's it. Unlike many authors, my dream doesn't include making a living from my writing. It doesn't include impressing others or making a certain amount of sales or securing 5-star reviews or a huge advance or gaining a million followers or landing on that bookstore shelf where I thought my book should be or any of that. None of it. Like a marriage, I've entered into something that will be affected by how I think of it every single day. It will mold itself to the respect I give it. It will see ups and downs, and like any good marriage, it will grow richer and deeper every year if I work with it instead of against it. My dream is incredibly personal, private, and quiet, and that's just how I want it.

It's no wonder I've been miserable lately. First of all, I've been ungrateful, but mostly, I've been trying to live other people's dreams. That's impossible to do and stay sane. Nobody's goals and rules are ever going to match up to my own on the unique path I'm on. Even if I met all those goals I see floating around online on so many blogs and Facebook statuses and Twitter feeds, I still wouldn't be happy because I would not have met the deepest desires of my own heart - the ones I have been ignoring for so long.

I think we authors often forget what we really want. I think we often delude ourselves into thinking we want what everyone else wants, and it's creating this insane sense of urgency in our heads. We pump out our work faster and harder and less carefully than we would otherwise. We feel pressured, more than anything else, to meet certain criteria, follow the lists and rules and advice others post, and it hurts us deeply when we can't meet that criteria at breakneck speed. For me, at least, this urgency transformed itself into an energy-sucking, emotionally-draining need.

Until I realized that for me it was an illusion and unnecessary.

I'm not saying anybody's advice or lists or advice are wrong. I'm just saying that when I opened my eyes, I was surprised at how easily I had let so many voices drown my own, and I'm wondering if others might be under the same spell. Maybe not. Maybe this is all just me. Either way, this year I vow to remember my OWN dreams. I vow to erase the foreign dreams I've painted on my walls. I vow to love my stories and hold them close to my heart until it's time to let them go. I hope if you have dreams, you can hold onto them. Protect them. Because if you don't, you might be on the path I have been on for awhile - left standing with nothing when you thought you knew exactly what you wanted.

Advent Ghosts 2011: A Story

2011-12-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Believe

It was Christmas Eve. In the empty bar, tinsel hung limplyfrom the ceiling. It did not glitter. He swallowed his fifth drink and saw herwatching him from a corner. Fishnets. Lipstick as thick as blood.

“Do you believe?” she asked in a hissing voice when heapproached her.

No, he had never believed in the joyous holiday. He cursed it underhis breath.

When she stepped forward, he instinctively backed away. Hereyes snapped to his, as red as a demon’s, her teeth glittering like razors asshe pounced. Out the window, softly falling snow muffled his screams.

2011 copyright by Michelle Davidson Argyle
______________________________

Welcome to the 2010 Advent Ghosts Storytelling Event created by Loren Eaton over at I Saw Lightning Fall. Loren likes to host this spooky event every Christmas Eve, and it's a lot of fun. I'm excited to share my exact 100-word story with you. Loren will be posting links to all the entries throughout the day. Go check them out!

My Top 5 Ways of Dealing With Reviews

2011-12-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things for an author to face is someone who doesn't like their work. I've been dealing with this for a long time. I dealt with it in high school, college, and recently with my book releases. When I released Cinders, I attended a book group where half the group hated my book. They had expected a traditional Disney-type fairy tale. One reader admitted she was expecting talking animals and pumpkins. One reader said she didn't like the story because of the ending and how unlikeable Cinderella is. It was an interesting conversation, but a good one. I learned how to deal with that kind of rejection in person, how to compose myself in a way and adjust my thoughts to a perspective which allows for the possibility that the entire freaking world is not going to love my work and bow down to my big ego and obvious genius. Because, well, I'll admit, sometimes that's what we writers think deep down, isn't it? We are geniuses for what we've written! In a lot of ways, it's true, but in more ways, it's so not true. Not even close.

One thing I've come to realize is that yes, what I've written and what is published and out there is genius for me to have written at the time I wrote it and for who I am and what it took to get it out there the way that it is. That doesn't mean, of course, that it's genius for everyone. As we all know, that tiny little word, SUBJECTIVITY, is not tiny. It's huge. It's so huge that it shapes our world and every single thought and person in it.

So back to reviews. Guess how I deal with them?

#1 - Respect
Before I move onto #2, I want to make it clear that I respect and appreciate every single reader who takes a chance on my work, and I respect even more those who put up reviews and rate my fiction - no matter what that review or rating says. REVIEWS ARE IMPORTANT AND HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!!!!!!!! They help a book's visibility and perception, even if they are negative reviews. That said, I must move on to #2.

#2 - I Stay in My Own Space
Please don't kill me, but I don't read reviews anymore outside of a few exceptions. Unless a reader emails or messages me about their review, I do not read them, and even then, I click with caution. I especially don't go looking for reviews. It's my very strong opinion that reviews are not for the author. They seriously are just not any of my business. If reviews are written for the author, the reviewer will email the author with their thoughts. Or at least that's how it should be. Besides, reviews are posted everywhere. I don't have time to go looking for every review posted, anyway. Not even Google Alerts serves up every review to an inbox. I guess what I'm saying here is that if you want me to read your review, let me know about it by emailing me, because there's very little chance that I'm going to run across it online.

#3 - Some People Just Don't Like Uncomfortable Fiction
Cinders is uncomfortable in a lot of ways. So is True Colors, my collection of literary short stories. I knew it wouldn't grab a lot of people, which is why I didn't even consider asking my publisher to publish it. I just did it myself. I've already received several emails from readers informing me that they don't care for the book. At all. (I'm adding this later, but some of those emails are from people who signed up to review the book, so that's why they emailed me). A year ago, this would have hurt me a lot, but now? Well, I just shrug and figure it's not their cup of tea. Sometimes I think the book needs a warning on the front that says, CAUTION: CONTAINS EXPERIMENTAL AND LITERARY FICTION, AND NONE OF THEM HAVE TRADITIONAL HAPPY ENDINGS. Okay, I'm being silly, but still, I'm always afraid that everyone expects purely entertaining and happy fiction every time they pick up a book. When they get something that is completely different, it's uncomfortable. College taught me to adore uncomfortable fiction. It makes me think. It makes me see my world and myself differently. It broadens my scope and gives me a huge sense of satisfaction when I really let it sink in. So why doesn't everybody like uncomfortable fiction? That's easy! They read for entertainment and happy escape only, and I get that. I so get that because there are times when that's why I read, too.

#4 - I Do Not Respond to Negativity/I Appreciate the Negativity
I've had issues with this in the past, and I've slipped a few times, but for the most part, I just don't respond to negativity. If someone emails me about hating my stuff, or if I've run across a terrible review, there is no point to responding with an argument. In fact, there's no point in getting upset at all. I used to. I've spent a lot of time ranting and getting pissed off about people's opinions. I've taken things personally. I've thought, "Why can't people see how mean this is to say such awful things in a way that tears me down?"

First of all, I don't think 99% of the negative/constructive reviews out there are meant to tear an author down. They are opinions, and oftentimes the reader feels so passionate about the book that an author should be pleased that their work inspired such passion! Nothing is worse than feeling nothing at all for a piece of fiction.

Diverse reviews = diverse fiction.

I, for one, adore diverse, complicated, and/or controversial fiction. Mixed reviews usually mean I'll like it.

#5 - Art is What it Is
Perhaps this should be #1, because I think one of the most important things I've learned about being an author is that what I create is an expression of myself. It's art. Much of it may not be high-brow and important art, but it's art nonetheless, and art is not something anyone should put up for negotiation. This is why it's so difficult to attach a price to a book, which in turn attaches a value to the work that the artist might not feel does it justice. And in actuality, a price tag never does art any sort of justice, even if it's crap. This is also why reviews can feel so harsh and unfair, and I'll be the first to admit that even glowing reviews are forgotten in my head. For some reason, all I ever remember are the negative ones I've happened to read. The brain has a funny way of doing that. At least my brain does.

My point here is that I have to constantly remind myself that my writing is not up for negotiation from me. I've put it out into the world because I want to share it - and at that point, I have no control over that piece of art anymore.

It is what it is.

And because it is what it is, there is nothing I can or want to do differently for that piece of art. It's out there to be enjoyed, hated, ignored, whatever. And that means it's time for me to write another book! Writers like to do that!

My question today is do you expect authors to read your reviews? If you're published, how do you deal with reviews?

Recap of My Signing - The Most Popular Book Being Cinders

2011-12-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

I was so nervous for my book signing/sale on Friday, if you couldn't tell from my previous post. However, I'm excited to let you know how well the event went! I showed up and set up my stuff, just a small table filled with my books, bookmarks, and my poster. Oh, and candy. I should have taken a picture, but I didn't. Sorry! I sat down and waited. Surprisingly, within the first hour, I sold five books. I was surprised! I expected to sell that for the entire day! Several friends showed up to see me and buy a copy of my short story collection, True Colors. I sat next to two very nice women who kept me company the whole day, and near the end of the day an amazing music group came to play Christmas music. This guy had an electric mandolin. That is the most beautiful instrument ever!

The amazing thing? I kept selling books! All day.

What sold my books?

I talked to people. I stood up and called them over and told them they could have some candy. I asked how they were doing and talked to them about things other than my books. If they looked interested in what was on the table, I told them more about each book, conveying my excitement for each one.

Which was the most popular book?

Cinders!

So popular that I sold out! Of course, it was the one I had the least amount of copies, but still. You know, when you say, "It's the story of Cinderella and what happens after she gets married," people's eyes light up. They snatch the book and look at it. People love fairy tales, even when I tell them it's an unexpected punch-in-the-gut-ending. After that, they seem even more interested. This doesn't surprise me, though. One lady stopped and saw Monarch and said, "Oh! I read that! I found it here in the library."The other wonderful thing? When someone buys your book and hugs it to their chest and says they can't wait to read it - and you can tell they really can't wait to read your book. It was also great to have a large book group invite me to their Monarch meeting once they've read the book this month.

This is what being an author is all about. I didn't sell that many books, but I sold them consistently, and I made enough to recoup my costs of doing the event - and more! I feel down all the time about sales and all these numbers many authors constantly obsess about. I get down thinking I'll never make it big or make a lot of money or ever be truly known or win some special award or something. But whenever I sit down to work on my next book or do an event like this, I remember why I do this - the same reason I did it before I was ever published. It's all about the stories and sharing them with readers, whether that be one reader or millions.

You Want Me to What?

2011-12-08T09:00:00.001-07:00

When I first dreamed of being an author, I didn't put a few things into that dream. I didn't see myself freaking out about having to ask bookstores if I can do a signing. I didn't see myself crying when they said no, or feeling like I'd made it to some new level when they said yes and/or invited me to come. The emotional roller coaster was unforeseen, of course. I'm not truly an introvert. I'm perfectly fine standing in front of a lot of people to speak or read something. I'm fine going to large parties for about an hour until my little sensor overloads. The problem is when I feel like I'm trying to push something on someone that I clam up and freak out. Selling my writing - not so easy. I keep thinking, well, who really wants to read this? It's not my place to push it under anyone's nose. But to sell books, you have to be seen, and to be seen, you have to sell yourself and your writing, which means actually talking to people about your books. Yeah, go figure.

When I launched Cinders, my self-published novella, I didn't freak out like I did with Monarch. I think it was mostly because I knew it was all supposed to be really small and not a big deal. I had a small launch party at my home, but that was it. Monarch - that was different because it felt bigger, like it needed more attention and a really big party to celebrate it. Totally fine! But as the true debut of my career, Monarch pushed my "holy crap, I have to do what?" button, I realized what I was really getting into with all of this authorly stuff.

Not that you have to do anything with promoting your books when you're published, but for me, I've felt I need to. It sure does help to sell books, and there's this sort of driving need (at least for me) to impress my publisher and other authors around me. I like to put things on my NEWS & EVENTS list. It looks and feels important that I'm doing things as an author and getting out there to promote my work. Small things so far, but still. So I put discomfort aside and get out there in baby steps. I was really happy when The King's English Bookstore invited me to be on the panel at their local author showcase. I organized my own launch party at a little desert cafe called The Chocolate. It was a smashing success despite my nerves the entire time. I was thrilled when my hometown's local bookstores decided to carry some of my books. It was a big step for me to go in there and just ask.

And, well, that's it for community stuff so far - until tomorrow!

Tomorrow I am going to my hometown's library to set up a table with my books. Local artisans and vendors will be there selling their stuff, too. It's seven hours. I'm not sure I will be able to stay the entire time without my sensor overloading and making me go home, but it was all my idea to go, so I have to make the best of it no matter how nervous I get. For now I need to go design a poster and get it uploaded to Costco so I can pick it up later today. And candy. There will be candy on my table. And the new bookmarks I had made for The Breakaway. They are arriving today from UPS. Here's the back. Sigh. So pretty. It's the little things that keep me going through this. Even if nobody buys any of my books tomorrow, I will know I've done something to put myself out there - and it's not only a good step for my career, it's a good step for me as a person and a good way for me to break down a shell I've been breaking down my entire life.

Christmas Traditions and a Charming Story to Explain Them

2011-12-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to give you a book recommendation today, along with a guest post from Rick Daley. I read his book, The Man in the Cinder Clouds, over the summer, but I think I will read it again as Christmas approaches. It's quite charming! Take it away, Rick!
______________________________

Christmas has many traditions. Some come from songs (jingle bells), some from poems (laying a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose), some from old traditions that reach back thousands of years (the original Christmas—the birth of Jesus).

When I decided to write an origins-of-Santa story, I knew I would have to include the traditions on some level. From Christmas trees, stockings, and lumps of coal to the North Pole, Elfs, and flying reindeer, it all had to be there.

No problem. Write out a long list of clichés? Check.

But a long list of clichés does not a good Christmas story make. I think Yoda said that. I couldn’t cheat by throwing things in just to include them. That’s lazy writing. Don’t get me wrong, I can excel in laziness and often go through long periods of getting nothing done. (I was born a procrastinator. Seriously, I was 10 days late. And breach, but that’s another story.) But regardless of my nature, I was not pulling any punches with this story. Besides, it was fun, like putting a puzzle together.

One tradition that has a major role in The Man in the Cinder Clouds is hanging a stocking (by the chimney with care). So I researched the history of stocking hanging. (If you call 15 minutes on Wikipedia “research”.) I found out that there is no specific start date for the tradition of stocking hanging. It’s thought to stem from the real St. Nicholas, who was said to have left coins in shoes.

But this is a story about the real Santa Claus, not the real St. Nicholas.

I decided that instead of focusing on the person putting something in the first stocking—I had Kris Kringle’s motivations in place (he is an orphan on a quest to find his real family) — I wanted to tell the story about the person who hung the first stocking. This gave me an open slate to bring a new character to life, and it opened up another layer to my book, which is really a story-within-a-story (within a story).

In The Man in the Cinder Clouds, Kris Kringle must follow a long list of rules; among them is the rule that any child who wants a present must leave a branch of an evergreen tree by the fireplace on Christmas Eve. One boy can’t, though. His father won’t let him leave the evergreen near the fire because it smokes and pops too much when burned, and this boy knows better than to argue with his father. But the boy doesn’t want to be the only kid without a present on Christmas morning, so he has to think of something.

He digs out an old pair of stockings—the pair with evergreen trees woven into them—and gets them wet as he does his chores. Now he has an excuse to put the stockings out by the fireplace…to dry them. He doesn’t know if his stocking will work, though, since it’s not really an evergreen branch, but it’s all he can do…

There’s more to the story, of course. The boy does get a present. What he gets and why is important, too, but not as important as what he does with it. And that’s just one of the three story lines that intertwine to reveal how Kris Kringle came to be known as Santa Claus.

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The Man in the Cinder Clouds
By Rick Daley

A young boy and his scientist father made an incredible discovery at the North Pole—an ancient book embedded deep within an ice core. Even more incredible is the story the book tells: the long-lost history of Santa Claus you never knew…and will never forget.

This origins-of-Santa story is a great holiday read for the whole family. Its mix of action, humor, and Christmas spirit keeps younger readers turning the pages, but The Man in the Cinder Clouds is not just a kids’ book.

As one Amazon.com reviewer puts it, “THE MAN IN THE CINDER CLOUDS is one of those middle grade books that the grown-ups get sucked into along with their kids. You think you bought if for your young reader but after you browse chapter one you just sort of... can't stop.”

This story-within-a-story reveals the origins of our most familiar Christmas traditions: from Christmas trees, stockings, and lumps of coal to jingle bells, the North Pole, and flying reindeer. Highly original and thoroughly entertaining, will show you how Kris Kringle came to be known as Santa Claus. It wasn’t easy.

About the Author
Rick Daley has been writing professionally for over 15 years. His experience includes marketing copy for print and web, press releases, business proposals, training and technical manuals, and whitepapers. His essays, ranging from family life during the holidays to his first skydiving experience, have been featured in The Columbus Dispatch.

Rick lives in Lewis Center, Ohio with his wife and two sons (and a neurotic schnauzer).

The Need for a Human Connection in Publishing

2011-12-02T09:40:00.001-07:00

In the rise of technology, something frightening happens within human interactions. Automation becomes the norm. We're used to dealing with non-human interactions over the phone and on the Internet. I've noticed it's quite simple to go through a whole day (or two, or a week) without interacting with hardly anyone if I don't want to - and yet still get a million things accomplished. I don't have to talk to anyone to get gas. I can order everything I need online (even groceries). I can even publish a book without interacting with a soul. Amazing. This is all very convenient, but I've noticed in the past ten years of my life that it's much too easy to distance myself from people. In all honesty, I'd rather talk to a human being on the phone than go through an automated system.

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine a few weeks ago about this automation in our lives. She said that she feels like it creates an us vs. them mentality, and she's absolutely right. You get big corporations running all this automation, and all those hands and faces are unseen, and quite frankly, it's easy to question their true motives. I don't know about you, but I've seen that humans actually like to interact with other humans. In fact, it's a need. Most of us need to belong, and most of us need to feel like we are part of something important and personal. It creates a safety zone. For me, that safety zone is best when it's small and intimate and within my control. I know motives. I know intentions, and those people know mine.

Ever wonder why zombies are so big lately? My friend pointed out that this automation may have something to do with that and all this dystopian craze going on. We're scared. We're scared of becoming so disconnected, that we are dealing with zombie-like systems because everything has become so automated. A theme I see far too often in stories is the us vs. them mentality with technology (especially a computer gaining too much intelligence and taking over). So overdone, but understandably so.

Where does publishing fit into this? When you step back and think about it, those Big Six publishers are pretty big. They might seem a bit faceless, and even automated, if you aren't part of the system (or maybe even if you are part of the system, I don't know). I think it's impossible for them not to feel that way because they are so big, so there's no way around that, but it explains why publishing might feel so impossible and frightening to a lot of writers. It also explains why agents are such a necessity in this business when dealing with larger publishers. Not only does an agent help an author navigate through those huge organizations, but an agent also provides that face - that connection between a huge faceless organization and the lone author.

This is why I'm much more comfortable with a small press where I can call up the president most times of the day on Skype and we can actually take face-to-face. It's very personal and connected, and I need that in my career right now because, especially as of late, I'm beginning to see that I'm really not made of what it takes to jump into anything and make it huge right off the bat. I can see why authors working with larger publishers and very busy editors need that agent connection. It makes a lot of sense.

So I have not ruled out going with a larger publisher in the future. If I ever do, I will most definitely need and want an agent, but for now I'm really happy with the close, accessible relationship I have with my publisher - and for the first time I understand a different reason why.

Lots of News! Including True Colors Release!

2011-12-01T11:38:00.001-07:00

With the release of my December Newsletter, I'm excited to announce that True Colors, my short story collection, is now available for purchase! I've been scrambling like crazy to get this newsletter ready, as well as my collection. That, and I've had a terrible cold. Yick! I was going to wait until the 5th of December to send out the newsletter, but got some good feedback on True Colors to include in my newsletter, so out it goes! Any other blurbs I receive from the wonderful readers who volunteered to read it, I will be sharing on my social networks as they come.

The news I'm sharing in my newsletter includes the following:

Win $200 Cash!
Last Chance to Get the Stories for Sendai Anthology
The Breakaway Cover
True Colors Release
$0.99 Sale on All my eBooks!
Book Recommendations
Things I've Learned
Subscriber Only Giveaway for Signed Copies of Cinders and Monarch

CLICK HERE TO READ THE NEWSLETTER

Or, better yet, if you're not subscribed, sign up here to automatically get future awesome news in your inbox. I send out newsletters every other month.

I'll be doing another post tomorrow about True Colors in case readers miss it in my newsletter. Happy Thursday, everyone!

What You Don't See

2011-11-27T13:20:00.001-07:00

I stumbled across this little comic today and thought I'd share it here on my blog. If you hang out here, you know I've been thinking a lot about envy and how we see ourselves. This picture kind of says it all, doesn't it? And it's not that everyone you look at has something lacking - it's simply that whatever they have is different than what you've got - and not always what it seems. Give yourself some credit, after all. And yes, I'm mostly saying this to myself. What you do...nobody can do. Who you are...nobody is. I think if we focus on what truly matters, other things will fall into place.

Happy Book Birthday to Tangled Tides!

2011-11-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Karen Amanda Hooper’s young adult novel, TANGLED TIDES, isofficially being released into the world today. I’m joining the celebration byfighting in the war--the underwater web war between the sea creatures!Karen’s story contains battling merfolk, selkies, sirens andgorgons. She says she loves all of them, but she wants everyone else to choosea side, so…

I CHOOSE SELKIES!

Wanna learn more or join in on the fun? Go check out thedetails at Karen’s blog: http://www.karenamandahooper.blogspot.com

Karen is giving away a signed copy of her book and someother sea creature themed prizes. To enter, join the underwater web war onTwitter. Tweet which sea creatures you’re rooting for and why. Include thehashtag #TangledTides and you could win. Karen will be on Twitter all day celebrating and answeringquestions, so stop by and say hello. @Karen_Hooper

I am, of course, even more attached to this lovely TANGLED TIDES story because Karen is a fellow author with me at Rhemalda Publishing. I also adore selkies, which you may find out why if you stick around my blog for the next few months.

Summary of the story:

Yara Jones doesn’t believe in sea monsters—until she becomesone.

When a hurricane hits her island home and she wakes up with fins, Yara findsherself tangled up in an underwater world of mysterious merfolk and secretiveselkies. Both sides believe Yara can save them by fulfilling a broken promiseand opening the sealed gateway to their realm, but they are battling over howit should be done. The selkies want to take her life. The merfolk wantsomething far more precious.

Treygan, the stormy-eyed merman who turned Yara mer, will stop at nothing andsacrifice everything to protect his people—until he falls for Yara. The tidesturn as Yara fights to save herself, hundreds of sea creatures, and the mermanwho has her heart. She could lose her soul in the process—or she might open thegateway to a love that’s deeper than the oceans.

Linkage:

Amazon: http://amzn.com/1936850435

Rhemalda Bookstore: http://tiny.cc/BuyTangledTides

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tangled-tides-karen-amanda-hooper/1035791101?ean=9781936850433&itm=1&usri=tangled%252btides

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12047201-tangled-tides

Stuff About Envy That Made Me Stop and Go, Huh...

2011-11-21T09:24:00.001-07:00

After the post I put up the other day, a post from my friend's private writing blog landed in my in-box. I don't think she planned this to land right when I was thinking all the things I was thinking in my last post, but it was perfect planning. I asked her if she'd mind me sharing her lovely thoughts, and she said to go right ahead.

So, brace yourself, because this post is made of awesome. Annie Cechini is a talented writer I met a few months ago. She heads up the Live Chats I'm a part of every month. You can find out more about her on her blog.

A Page from Monica Wood's, The Pocket Muse

The Pocket Muse was the first writing book I bought (I'm not counting college). It is such a little gem, but this section on professional envy is something that has stuck with me, something I refer to when I need it. ;) Be warned, it's a long quote:

"Notes from the department of professional envy:

Five minutes after you receive your fifteenth rejection letter for a novel that took five years to write, a friend--someone you genuinely like and admire--calls with news of a whopping book advance for his first novel. "Wow," you say, stunned, as envy crashes in to slap your face. You feel run over, plowed under, taken utterly by surprise, thinking: Where did this awfulness come from? This smallness? This resentment? I'm not prepared for this!

In fact, you are prepared. You--you and nobody else--prepared the place for envy to take up residence in your body and clog the places that should remain open to the imagination, to generosity. Every time you believed yourself a bad writer, envy slithered a little further into your core. Every time a better writer's prose made you feel diminshed instead of inspired, envy slipped in. You don't recognize it at the time, have no idea the damage you are doing by resenting your own words as failures instead of stepping stones to the real stuff. Envy, that snake, slides in and prods you to quit early. It hisses, "Hack! Idiot! Cliche!" as you try to make words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into something that sings.

There is nothing sudden about envy. The moment of its seemingly theatrical entrance is merely the most recent moment in a continuum. The things you think in that envious moment--he can write and I can't; he is lucky and I'm not; he has vision and I don't--follow naturally from all the hissing you've been listening to and taking in without quite hearing it.

Self-doubt is not the opposite of confidence. Envy is the opposite of confidence.

Envy is the thing that says: you will never be lucky. You will never be good. You will never have vision. You will never succeed. You will never have a life like his. Envy serves no purpose except to sap your resources, erode your confidence, and make you bitter when you should be grateful.

Sometimes, though, there is no dismissing it. It is there, in your house, in your room, in your head, in your gut. At these times, allow yourself to surrender, but only for a finite period. Say to yourself: Here's the deal--I get 24 hours to not write, to feel rotten, to believe I will never write anything worth reading, ever. After that, get your bony @-- back in the chair.

It also helps--it helps me, anyway--to remember that another's success does not equal your failure. Life does not operate on a zero-sum. Another's beautiful prose does not make yours ugly. Another's prize-winning poetry collection does not make yours a prize-losing collection. Another's smart essay does not make yours stupid.

No one else will ever write what you are writing. No one.

If, after this, envy refuses to budge, ask yourself this: Would you really want another life? You can't go around cherry picking from this life or that one. Maybe you want his Pulitzer, her reviews, his money, her talent, but you'd also have to take his lung x-ray, her mother's death, his stutter, her truly hideous hair. And besides, you'd have to give up your singing voice, your friend Robin, the two hundred bird songs you know by ear. so there you go. Life's a package, and you know--you know this--you don't truly want any package other than your own.

Usually, the time-limited pity party works. Envy can't get you unless you're feeling vulnerable and inferior, so a day (or a week or a month) away from your work might just be what you need anyway. After a time away, you'll feel grateful for all the words that come, not just the good ones. If envy has any reason at all to exist, that's probably it."

Thanks, again, to Annie for making me aware of Monica Wood and her beautiful writing and advice about envy! If you're any sort of human at all, you've felt envy. Reading this made me stop and go, huh, maybe a lot of what I've been feeling lately is envy. Envy for what I think I want and don't have. Envy of other people. Envy of not being envious. Hope this post makes you stop, too, if you have felt any of this. It's good to stop and think about this stuff every so often. Catch your breath sort of thing.

Dragons Rule

2011-11-18T09:37:00.001-07:00

I have been working on my third novella in the Bonded collection (which includes my novella, Cinders). This novella is titled Scales because it's about a girl who is turned into a dragon. Funny, though, that the dragon-turning doesn't happen until the last third of the book. I've been dying to get to that scene for nearly a year now, but I have yet to reach it. I'm still hanging in there.

Scales is my own interpretation of what happens before the fairy tale, Sleeping Beauty, but it is based in the world of Cinders (not the same time period, and none of the same characters). I'm taking Disney's version of Maleficent and answering the question, why is she so bitter? And why does she turn into a dragon? So Scales is her story, and her name is Serina.

My imagination went wild after I got the initial idea. Two sisters from a perfect world. Two ideas of right and wrong. One controls fire and the other controls water. It's destined to end up with a dragon, of course. I don't exactly know why it has taken me so long to write a book that will probably only end up at 40,000 words. I first got the idea for it in December of last year, but didn't officially begin it until April. So it's been awhile. Most of that time was spent marketing and launching Monarch, not actually writing. I've written 25,000 words so far. That seems like a long time to write a measly 25k, but I think it's a golden 25k, at least! It's my hope that this is the best of the three novellas in the collection. Not only because dragons rule, but because I'm excited to put my own version of dragons and fairies and elves out into the world. They certainly aren't what you'd expect! I hope.

A Position of Power

2011-11-17T09:48:00.001-07:00

I recently put this post up on my publisher's blog, but I feel like it's something that needs to be said here on my own blog, as well. First, let me preface with the fact that I've been eating a lot of chocolate lately. This chocolate-eating has happened during pathetic sessions of wallowing in my own misery. I'm really good at doing that. I'm good at putting up posts saying how happy I'm going to try and be, and then turning around to fall flat on my face. I am happy to report, however, that I have woken up every morning determined to be content. It just doesn't last beyond the first hour, sadly. Why is this? Why do I keep complaining all the time? Why do I keep comparing myself? Why do I keep falling into the same patterns? Why am I not strong enough to deal with this?

Well, those are questions that I can't really answer right now (outside the typical, "Because you're human"), and I don't expect anyone else to answer them, either. Throwing them out into the void helps, but I am sure you are sick of reading this post already. The woe-is-Michelle posts get old. Truly. I know.

But, I was thinking about how I scroll through Facebook statuses and blog posts and talking to friends and how my jealousy over another person's success mounts so high that it's unhealthy. I let success outside of my own success take a position of power over me. And then the cycle starts to spiral downward as I begin to justify the reasons for my own failings. It's natural to do this, I tell myself. Completely normal. So get over it and cheer the heck up and be happy with where you and what you've done. Go on your blog and talk about how happy and successful you are. If you say it enough, you'll believe it. And other people will believe you, too.

Obviously, I'm not doing that super well.

My book sales? Uhh, mostly, I just don't know.

My energy levels? Shot.

My plans for the next book launch. Pathetically small. I just want to hide.

My attitude? Well, I'm working on that. I'm eating a lot of chocolate.

So I happened across this post I put up on my publisher's blog, and I'm thinking, you know, my goldfish memory is truly a curse because I forget that I make these resolves. I really do need to just tattoo stuff on my arm to remember these things. Anyway, enough prefacing. Here's the post, and I hope you get something out of it and remember something from it, because I seem to have a hard time doing that.

The Difficulty, But Necessity of Being Content No Matter What (Previously Published on Rhemalda Publishing)

I have to talk about something or I'm going to explode. It has a little bit to do with publishing, but not really. It's so much deeper than that. I've been through a lot in the past year. I've signed a book with a publisher and seen it published. I've gone into bookstores and humbly asked if they'd stock my book. I've called libraries. I've been turned down. I survived a really long book blog tour and received lots and lots of emails and conversations from people who love my work and want to tell me. I've read some bad reviews from mean people - reviews I had no business reading in the first place. I've planned a book launch party, attended my first book signing. I've held my book for hours at a time, shocked at how amazing it feels to finally have this happen outside of my control from self-publishing. It's different this time around.

I was on a freaking high.

A book high, and let me tell you, when it ends. It ends. I think some friends told me this would happen. Coming off a high really sucks. I've spent a few good crying sessions in the shower. I have no idea why I'm all of a sudden freaking out and panicking. I have another book coming out in six months. I should be so happy! And yeah, I fear that someone might be rolling their eyes because I'm published and should be happy and not complain. Ever. Well, I still have feelings and emotions, so if anyone doesn't like that, I'm sorry. Go read another blog. I'm honest here, and I'll talk about this stuff because I need to talk about it. SELLING YOUR WORK IS HARD. No matter how you do it, no matter how much you make, no matter why you do it. I think it's harder than just the creating aspect. Period. Writing. Painting. 3-D design, whatever you happen to create. Putting value on your work is hard. It's probably one of the hardest things a human being can be expected to do because you have to find a balance somewhere between that value on your work and your real worth (which is truly beyond any value) as a person. It has been hard for me to separate myself from that value and what truly makes me happy. As my publisher puts it, however, happiness is nothing more than a choice. Period.

I think the key to happiness for any artist is making that choice in spite of the perceived value of what you produce. The mere fact that I'm creating something I love should be enough. It is enough. I was happy before I was published, so I'm the same kind of happy as I was then. The only difference is that I now have more exposure for my work and that has dragged me down more than I expected. As I contemplate more and more why that is, I understand more things about myself and what I need with all these changes going on.

So what do I need?...

To wake up every morning and make that decision to be content no matter what. Because constant happiness and joy is a bit sickening, but being content every day is something I can do.

And here's my little pep-talk between me, myself, and I, but you're welcome to listen in. Because I don't care what happens to you, how many times you've been rejected, how sucky you think you are, how badly you want something, how much better you think anybody is than you. None of that is anything but a choice you make with how you feel about it. Period. If you can't be content with where you are now, even in the crappiest, darkest of times, that will never change until you do.
_______________

So there you have it. The post to end all posts, right? I should never question my ability to be content, but I know as well as you do that this is a journey where there will always be pitfalls and we are never perfect. I am, however, going to take one more step in changing myself to be better and more content with how things are. Making the choice is everything. Now where's that tattoo artist to sear that into my arm?

A Fairy Tale Worth Watching?

2011-11-14T08:53:00.001-07:00

Despite showing Snow White in battle gear (a tactic I see a lot lately to try and kill the cliche of weak female characters), and the obviousness of the Queen's horrible evilness (what else is new?), I am waiting in anticipation of the movie, Snow White and the Huntsman. I posted awhile ago about the TV series, Once Upon a Time, and how disappointed I was with the look of it (and no, I haven't seen any of it except the first seven minutes). Snow White and the Huntsman, however, looks exquisitely dark and non-cheesy. It's the feel I search for in a fairy tale movie - sticking to the original fairy tale, with some twists and a lot of dark, wonderful magic mixed with a heavy dose of gritty-like realism (I hope). I just hope the magic is realistic, as well. I'm really happy about fairy tales getting bigger in popular entertainment lately. Should bode well for my Bonded in 2013.

And I'm sorry, Chris Hemsworth as The Huntsman makes me swoon. Just a bit. Okay, a lot.

You can view the trailer here.

My Secret Literary Project - Announcing "True Colors"

2011-11-09T09:36:00.002-07:00

For awhile now, I've been working on pulling together all my favorite short stories I've written in the past twelve years. It has been an exciting journey to read through all my work and pick and choose my favorites. Earlier this year, my friend Davin Malasarn published his own short story collection, The Wild Grass. If you love literary brilliance, go get his book. I have to say, even if I didn't know Davin, he'd be one of my all-time favorite authors. His happiness and excitement in putting together his collection energized my own plans to put together my short story collection - an idea I've had forever, but never got the courage to do until now.

You see, my novels contain literary elements, but my short stories and poetry are where I pour my love for literary fiction. If you already like my writing and want to see a different side of that writing, read on! For me, my short stories are often richer than my longer fiction. Each story and poem contains a concentrated nugget of truth about me as a person and how I view the world.

So, with no further ado, I'm happy to announce my short story and poetry collection, True Colors. This is a collection of fifteen literary pieces written during 1999 - 2011. In the title story, "True Colors," the main character fights her vibrant personality against the true darkness lurking within her. The story builds until a row of six dead birds stop her in her tracks. In the opening story, "Thread," (also published in the 2011 collection, Stories for Sendai), a married couple's reaction to the Sendai earthquake and tsunami on March 11th, 2011 reveals their own earth-shattering issues and what must be done to solve them. The lizard on the cover represents the story, "The Threshold," about a young boy with an intense physical attraction to a girl he's not supposed to touch. True Colors is a collection of quiet stories exploring the hidden, but often overlooked colors we try to hide every day. Sometimes they shouldn't be hidden at all.

True Colors will be available soon, hopefully by the end of November because I have about five hundred things going on and I need to get this finished. It will be available in print and eBook. It's not my intent to sell a lot of copies of this book, but I would love support from those of you who do like my work, so I'll be giving away a few eBook copies to anyone interested in helping me out by posting a review on your blog. If you're interested, please sign up here. You're welcome to post the review whenever you wish.

Let's Strum!

2011-11-08T09:10:00.001-07:00

Whenever I read a book and find myself very jealous of the writing, I know it's something special. Jessica Bell's String Bridge did that for me. I was on vacation at the time, so I read the book mostly in the car driving through the dry, brown parts of Oregon, Washington, and Idaho. Actually, I barely remember the dull parts of driving because String Bridge was riveting. A poetic novel, both in prose and storytelling. Just my thing. Jessica took me all the way to Greece where I felt the baking sun and hot, salty-white beaches sticking to my skin. Mostly, however, Jessica strummed me through Mel's aching musical journey where, at times, only a string-like bridge holds her life together. I'll tell you what, though, String Bridge is held together by a fortress of strings - a tightly woven story that made me turn the last page with a reverence I reserve only for the finest poetry and music.

The absolute, most wonderful, best part about String Bridge? THE MUSIC. Jessica is an amazing artist not only with fiction, but music, as well. She has an accompanying soundtrack to go with the book. You can download it from iTunes here. Or from Amazon here. Amazon UK here. Here's a taste of her music.

Also, Jessica has prizes and celebrations going on, so be sure to check out her blog for daily details.

String Bridge Website
Goodreads

String Bridge Book Trailer
String Bridge Merchandise
Website
Facebook
Twitter

Jessica Bell is a literary women's fiction author, poet and singer/songwriter who grew up in Melbourne, Australia, to two gothic rock musicians who had successful independent careers during the '80s and early '90s. She spent much of her childhood travelling to and from Australia to Europe, experiencing two entirely different worlds, yet feeling equally at home in both environments. She currently lives in Athens, Greece and works as a freelance writer/editor for English Language Teaching publishers worldwide, such as HarperCollins, Pearson Education and Macmillan Education.

In addition to String Bridge, Jessica has published a book of poetry called Twisted Velvet Chains. A full list of poems and short stories published in various anthologies and literary magazines can be found under Published Works & Awards, on her website.

Buy String Bridge as eBook on Amazon or Amazon UK
Or in paperback at Barnes & Noble

"The Breakaway" ARCs and Blog Tour

2011-11-07T11:44:00.003-07:00

The blog tour for The Breakaway will take place May 1st - May 4th, 2012. ARCs (Advance Review Copies) are limited and Rhemalda Publishing will be choosing who gets them - with some input from me. You are welcome to sign up for one, but please sign up for something else in addition to a review since not everyone will be receiving one for review. If you are chosen for a review, you will be informed by email and will receive an ARC 2 - 4 weeks in advance of the blog tour.

I hope everyone understands that ARCs must be limited. So many readers got to read Monarch for free, but at a cost to me and my publisher because books and shipping aren't free. Even eBooks come with their prices and time involved. I am really grateful that I was able to hand out so many free copies of Monarch, but as more and more of my books are released, I have to cut back on what I spend on each one. I get a certain amount of free books from my publisher, and that's what I have to stick with for now.

Even if you don't get an ARC this time around, I hope you will share in my excitement and sign up to do something the week of the release in May. You'll be kept up-to-date with emails from me, so no worries abou signing up in advance. Even a small announcement on your blog helps spread the word. And, as always, a huge thank you to those who have helped with my books in the past. You guys seriously rock, and trust me, you are not forgotten.

****CLICK TO SIGN UP FOR THE TOUR AND ARCs****

"Not Everyone Can Become a Great Artist, But a Great Artist Can Come from Anywhere"

2011-11-07T06:54:00.004-07:00

"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talents, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new; an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking, is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook". But I realize — only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

--Anton Ego from the Disney/Pixar film Ratatouille (2007)

Watching Ratatouille last night, I realized we writers criticize each other all the time, even subconsciously or without meaning to. Some of us, especially, do this to ourselves. Even more interesting is that at the end of the film, the rats who earned Anton Ego's respect and validation, are driven from the restaurant, and Ego loses his position and respect from the world. Give that a bit of thought. In the very end, however, happiness is found as a new restaurant is opened and Ego takes on a new position as a small business investor. Often, it is about finding your own spot outside of the world's approval.

Perhaps, however, it is more important to remember that in the grand scheme of things, the average story written - or any piece of art created, above or below average, for that matter - is more meaningful than how it is published and shared with the world, or any review attached to it.

Publicly Pouting is Not a Pretty Thing

2011-11-04T10:02:00.003-06:00

I've done the publicly pouting thing one too many times. I often look at my five-year-old in the throes of a tantrum or the wallows of pouting and wonder, hmmm, I do that as an adult sometimes...that's frightening. Yesterday I put up a post on Facebook about how I was happy that not many people had commented on my lowly little sock post. I was actually excited about this fact, and putting up the post on FB was not a plea for more people to comment, but a declaration that I was okay with few comments. To me, it meant that I was reaching a good spot on my blog where I was posting about something that was important to me despite the fact that it wouldn't garner lots of attention or validation.

You see, I've had major issues lately with coming to terms with lots of things: success, lack of success, public exposure, book reviews, all of this publishing stuff. Especially the fact that it is affecting my writing and my general happiness. Is it all worth it? Really? Then I pick up my book and hold it and know it's worth it. So that means I have to keep going and find a good balance.

The problem with finding a balance is that I tend to talk about that journey on the Internet. What am I doing right now? That's right. And of course, some of that public exploration takes on the flavor of pouting. Then again, it might just seem like pouting from certain perspectives. Even with that in mind, I've been paralyzed lately to say anything about anything online lately. What I have said has been processed through my head about 1,000 times before I hit publish. Then I regret it later and wonder what the hell people are thinking about me and what I said, when in reality nobody is thinking much of anything about me. Then I delete what I said, usually. Yeah, a bit paralyzed. All this stewing. It needs to stop.

I need to own who I am and what I think. Period.

So I've made the decision to wake up every morning with a smile on my face no matter what's happening. Happiness is a choice. Confidence is a choice. I'm tired of pouting and complaining and whining and feeling sorry for myself because this journey is a little bit hard. It has always been hard, and that will never change no matter where I'm at in the journey. Harboring bitterness over another author's success and bemoaning what I don't have or how unfair it is that I can't say or do whatever I want online now that I'm published, is ridiculous. I'm just done being unhappy deep down because I have truly been thrilled with where I am. There's been both happiness and bitterness battling inside my heart. I'm ready to let happiness finally win!

UPDATE: This post is not about me never allowing myself to feel unhappy. I said I want to find a balance, not a land of unicorns and cupcakes. It's about breaking free from feeling paralyzed by bitterness. I can feel unhappiness. That's completely fine and normal. Choosing to dwell on that unhappiness for an unhealthy amount of time is what I'm moving away from.

The Socks

2011-11-03T09:51:00.000-06:00

There is a reason I love this image for my cover of The Breakaway. That is Naomi, my eighteen-year-old protagonist who is kidnapped by a family of jewel thieves. Why do I love the image so much?

The socks.

I love the socks. That may sound odd. Oh well. I love the socks because her kidnappers take her shoes, but give her everything else she needs (except freedom, of course). That's one of my favorite details of the entire novel - that they take her shoes, and I love the socks because they encapsulate the strangeness of Naomi's situation. They seem out of place with her summery outfit, which is perfect because she's taken from California to a different, much colder state.

The reason I'm writing this post today is because I was talking to a good friend last night about my cover and what I love about it and I thought it would be fun to share little things like this here on my blog. Sometimes it's all in the details and those things need to be showcased if they make you happy. The socks make me happy!

A Conversation Amongst Writers - Open Minds

2011-11-01T09:47:00.005-06:00

If you were going to describe what it's like to read someone's mind, how would you describe it? Because Susan Kaye Quinn describes it in the most fascinating way in her newest novel, Open Minds. I read Open Minds when Susan won my full manuscript critique last year through my newsletter. I adored her book about a teenage girl who lives in a world where everyone can read minds - except her. And nobody can read hers. Then she discovers that she can read minds. In fact, she can control minds, and that's something nobody else can do.

Oh, the delicious setup!

This young adult novel seriously took me by surprise and I highly recommend it even to readers who aren't all that into young adult fiction.

So about that reading someone's mind. Kira doesn't exactly read minds. She pushes into them, and how Susan describes that is fascinating. It's physical, like actually pushing through the brain. So cool, and kind of eerie. I asked Susan to talk about that for a little bit.

It was important to me to give a lot of physicality to the mindjacking process. In any scene, I always strive to use all the senses, because it draws a reader in. But in this story, in particular, I wanted to viscerally bring alive what it felt like to be a mindjacker. The brain fascinates me anyway. All of our senses - all of our sights/sounds/smells/touches - are really just an interpretation that our mind makes of the electrical signals that zip through it. Once you realize that hunk of pink tissue in our heads is in charge of everything we sense or think or feel, it quickly becomes exciting to see how you could change everything by jacking into someone else’s mind. Our minds would definitely interpret the sensation of the jack as something – a touch, a smell, definitely as sounds. I’m still exploring it, now that I’m writing Book 2, Closed Hearts.

I'm really excited for Book 2! I asked Susan to tell me a little more about it:

Closed Hearts picks up after the big conclusion of Open Minds. I don’t want to spoil it, but even though Kira resolves her immediate problem of being a jacker-hiding-in-plain-sight, this solution just opens up a whole different level of problems. In a way, Open Minds was intensely viewed through Kira’s eyes. Her personal internal struggle drove the story. Closed Hearts is still about her struggle, but now it’s opened up to an interpersonal level. In Open Minds, Kira muses early on that her zero status puts her at odds with the world … The world and I were at a standoff, waiting for me to change, but the world didn’t care. If I never changed, it would move on and leave me trying to catch up in a race I would never win. In Closed Hearts, the world suddenly cares a great deal about her. And it’s not about to move on.

And the last thing I asked Susan was about Kira, specifically. You know how characters sometimes have something physical that means a lot to them? Like Harry Potter has the framed picture of his parents. I wanted Susan to talk a little bit about something small that Kira might value.

Kira has a bunch of stuffed animals that Raf won for her. (Raf is her best friend and the mindreader that she secretly loves but can’t—as a zero—have.) They sit on her shelf and in a fit of wanting to be tough, grown up, not pitied by the world, she throws them out. To her, they symbolize the childhood that she is perpetually stuck in, because being a zero in a mindreading world is essentially like being forever a child (since children don’t read minds). Since the stuffed animals are from Raf, they are a double edged sword, and she ends up saving the one that he won for her most recently. This all happens early in the story, before she realizes she’s a mindjacker and becomes terrified of her new power to control other people. The story quickly requires her to become tougher, and grows her up far too fast. These stuffed animals—a symbol of her lost childhood and connection to Raf—come back later in the story.

************************************

When everyone reads minds, a secret is a dangerous thing to keep.

Sixteen-year-old Kira Moore is a zero, someone who can’t read thoughts or be read by others. Zeros are outcasts who can’t be trusted, leaving her no chance with Raf, a regular mindreader and the best friend she secretly loves. When she accidentally controls Raf’s mind and nearly kills him, Kira tries to hide her frightening new ability from her family and an increasingly suspicious Raf. But lies tangle around her, and she’s dragged deep into a hidden world of mindjackers, where having to mind control everyone she loves is just the beginning of the deadly choices before her.

Open Minds (Book One of the Mindjack Trilogy) by Susan Kaye Quinn is available in e-book (Amazon US (also UK, France and Germany), Barnes & Noble, Smashwords) and print (Amazon, Createspace, also autographed copies available from the author).

Book Trailers and the Purpose They Don't Really Serve

2011-10-31T07:37:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I put up my book trailer for The Breakaway. I was excited about it, and I'm still excited about it, but it's a different sort of excitement this time around than it was for Monarch or Cinders. My publisher put together the Monarch trailer, but they are so swamped right now, and I decided that since I'm able to put one together myself, I'd just go ahead and do that. So I did. It turned out really well and gives an accurate feel for the book from my viewpoint as the author.

I want to ask today what purpose you think book trailers serve? I used to think they were a great marketing tool to sell books, but I think I'm wrong. They don't seem to sell books. Writing more books sells books. Getting involved in your community sells books. Consistent interaction in an online community sells books. A huge marketing budget sells books (I don't have that one...).

So, what's the point of a book trailer?

I think book trailers are popular because, if done well, they serve as a fun, entertaining way to learn about a book's premise. And that's about it. They provide another view and angle of the book outside of words alone. But just like a book signing doesn't sell many books, I don't think book trailers do, either. They might sell a few, I guess, but my point in making a trailer for The Breakaway was to provide that other angle. The book is contemporary suspense, but it's a quiet sort of suspense, almost more psychological than anything else. If you missed it yesterday, you're welcome to view it right here.

Starting From Scratch - All That Following

2011-10-28T09:43:00.001-06:00

I'm the middle of some sort of crisis (what else is new, right?) and after thinking through things for quite awhile, I'm going to un-follow every blog I currently follow and will be starting over from scratch. The only reason I say this in public is so if anybody notices me not following anymore, they understand why. It's not that I hate anyone or want to offend anyone or that I don't care anymore; I've just got to start cutting down on things in my life so that there is more time for actual writing and working. I follow so many blogs at the moment that it's pretty impossible to go through them and just pick some. So, as far as following blogs again, I will be doing so from scratch, starting today. I will be keeping what I follow to blogs I can read and keep up on so that I'm not just following just to follow.

I like to follow close friends, family, and those who interact here on my blog and other networks on a regular basis. My goal has always, and will always, be quality over quantity, and I hope that readers who come here, read, and comment are those who have a true desire to stick around. I'm trying to keep things in my life in order and prioritized. Thanks for understanding!

"The Breakaway" Cover Reveal

2011-10-27T07:06:00.004-06:00

Yay! Rhemalda Publishing's amazing artist, Melissa Williams, has made me very happy with my cover for The Breakaway. It's the perfect cover for this very special book in my career. I don't know what else to say about this book except that it's so personal to me that I have a hard time even thinking about reading reviews for it. When I think about that, I feel like Naomi in the cover - all huddled and frightened. This book is just too close to me for me to even go there. But despite all that, I am very excited to share this book with the world because I think it's something people need to read for a lot of reasons. It's probably one of the most honest things I've written so far, and I guess that's why it's so personal.

The Breakaway is contemporary young adult suspense, but I'd say it's appropriate for sixteen and older. It deals with abuse and some adult situations, but is still clean. It will be released May 1st, 2012. Not far away!

COVER COPY:
When Naomi Jensen is kidnapped, it takes her parents two days to realize she’s missing. Escape isn’t high on her list of priorities when all she has to return to is an abusive boyfriend and parents who never paid much attention to her. For the first time in her life she’s part of a family—even if it is a family of criminals. But she’s still a captive. In a desperate attempt to regain some control in her life, Naomi embarks on a dangerous plan to make one of her kidnappers think she’s falling in love with him. The plan works too well, and when faced with the chance to escape, Naomi isn’t sure she wants to take it.

You can also find more about The Breakaway on its dedicated page here. I will keep that page updated with sales information, blurbs, promotional material, etc.

Looks Like May is a Magical Month!

2011-10-24T09:15:00.002-06:00

So what's happening in May? For two years in a row? My books, that's what! On May 1st, 2012 (only 6 months from now!), my novel The Breakaway will be released by Rhemalda Publishing. The cover is going to be released next week, I hope. On May 1st, 2013, my novella collection, Bonded, will be released by Rhemalda Publishing. So far it is planned to be released in hardback and that makes me all sorts of excited!

My plan to release five books in five years is underway. This means I have two more to write as quickly as I can so they can be released in 2014 and 2015. This is, of course, assuming that Rhemalda Publishing wants them. I already have plans for Book Four. A title is in place, as is a loose plot and some characters. I just can't begin this shiny new beauty until Bonded is completed. I should be entering into edits for The Breakaway in the next little while.

If you want to see Rhemalda's ongoing lineup of books, go check out the footer of their website: http://rhemalda.com/. They have dates as well as showing some open slots that are being determined. But, they have some slots available for 2012 and a lot for 2013, so if you've considered submitting to them, a word to the wise is that October and November are great months to do that since they are some of the slower submission months.

Have a happy Monday, everyone!

Is This New Once Upon a Time TV Series Same Old, Same Old?

2011-10-23T12:31:00.005-06:00

I don't watch television. Shocking, I know. I've never seen an episode of Lost or Dancing With the Stars. In fact, my entire marriage (going on 9 years now), we've never had any more than 4 working stations on our television, and those are fuzzy and go out most of the time. We watch movies and Netflix, and even then the person who mostly watches those is our five-year-old when I'm trying to get some writing done. For some reason we're just too busy to watch stuff. I guess we're out there living our dreams and that just takes all our time. Once in a while we'll relax and get a movie from Netflix of find something in the stream feed or get something from RedBox, but for the most part, we just don't spend a lot of time in front of the TV. We spend even less time going to movies. I think we go to a movie theater maybe four times a year, if that. The most we watch is before bed when we're making our way through old Gargoyles or Star Trek seasons. Or Firefly. Why did they cancel that brilliant show?

So I do watch some TV, just not while it's airing.

That said, when I heard about this new Once Upon a Time television show that begins tonight on CBS, I perked up. Hmm, fairy tales? I happen to be working on my third fairy tale themed novella, Scales, and I was highly interested. I love fairy tale stuff! This one looked like an interesting premise, too, taking place simultaneously in the real world and in the fairy tale world (although a similar idea was handled in The 10th Kingdom mini series), so I watched a few things about it to get more information. Turns out it isn't the unique twist I was hoping for. I was hoping for something which transcends happily ever after and actually goes against the traditional Disneyfied fairy tale themes. But, alas, it seems to be built around happily ever after (even if evil is taking a new turn and gets more of an upper hand). It's going to mash up different fairy characters and stories, which is a very cool concept, but as I watched some little snippets of the show, my heart sank at what I saw - the ultimate inevitability that these stories follow typical fairy tale characterizations and melodramatic themes and endings where evil is purely evil and the villainous dresses in black. Not to mention a glimpse at empowering the female characters with little things like Snow White grabbing Prince Charming's sword from his scabbard to warn the witch.

Which is totally, 100% fine. (Although I can see my hubby cringing at the sword thing...)

I was just hoping it was something more than that. Maybe it will be, but I won't know until people start talking about it and it's been going for a few seasons. At that point I might get it off Netflix and watch it, but I don't know. It just feels a little same old, same old to me despite its efforts to be new. Also, I'm currently not at all interested in the Grimm show airing this Friday before Halloween. That looks a bit too horror and action-oriented for me. I do think it's fun that a fairy tale trend seems to be on the rise. I adored Disney's Tangled, and maybe if I gave this new Once Upon a Time show a chance, I might love it. I just have this policy of not watching or reading much of the genre I'm currently writing in, and since I'm knee-deep (hopefully neck-deep soon) in working on Bonded, I'm going to avoid the show for now.

Now, Castle...I've heard I would love that show.

WARNING: I Must Tell You About My Goldfish Memory

2011-10-19T11:31:00.001-06:00

I will probably forget a month from now that I even wrote this post. I forget what I post about. I forget who has read my books. I forget conversations, dates, people's names, faces, things I did yesterday, last week, a year ago. Two hours ago. I forget things most people seem to remember. I have the worst memory ever. My friend Zoe calls it Goldfish Memory. You know, you remember things for like 3 seconds and then your memory restarts? Yeah, that's seriously how I feel all the time. I have to write everything down, but even when I do that I forget important things. Yesterday I was on the phone with my friend Annie and I completely forgot she had read my novel Monarch. The whole conversation I never remembered that last month I had emailed her the ebook so she could read it and be prepared for our live chat Monarch party last month. I even wrote a post on Facebook about something kind she said about the book - about it being like an endless supply of Reese's peanut butter cups. How could I forget that? Sigh.

Anyway, it's just sad when I get laughed at for forgetting things (not in a mean way, but still...) - when a situation where I've forgotten something makes me look like a complete idiot.

This happens to me at least three times a week. Or more.

Maybe this is why I'm a hermit. I'm afraid to go anywhere in public and interact with people - do anything that will mean I have to remember something or someone. My poor husband. He's constantly dealing with my absent-mindedness. And it's not even that I'm preoccupied with anything specific. I've been this way my entire life, and quite frankly, it's embarrassing and awful and lately has become a real problem in my life. I just don't know what to do. Warn people all the time? Are there herbs that help with this or something? I've tried planners, post-it notes, everything. I'm horrible at tests. It's amazing I got through college with a high GPA.

I just don't know what to do lately. I'm just saying this out loud in public because I'm afraid people might be offended by anything I forget to do or post or say or whatever. It affects my relationships with people, and that's the hardest thing of all. I think what might help is getting away from the Internet for awhile and focus more on my writing and some real-life stuff and trying to take things slower and freeing myself of some stress.

Anyone have any advice? Do you know anybody as absent-minded as me? Anything that has helped?

A Launch Party Sneak Peek!

2011-10-17T09:16:00.002-06:00

My wonderful, amazing photographer for my Monarch Launch Party is so busy this week that she hasn't had a chance to get me many pictures yet, but she will! Until then, I'd like to leave you with a few pictures she did send me and a few from others. If you were able to come, I'd love to get any pictures you might have taken.

The launch party was a complete success! During most of the three hours there was a steady stream of people. Rhemalda Publishing came all the way from Washington to sell books, and The Chocolate was an amazing host and location for the event. I am so pleased!

I will be writing up a post later with more details and pictures when I have them. Thank you everyone who has helped me celebrate this huge moment in my life.

Open Questions! Ask Me Anything You'd Like Today

2011-10-13T09:45:00.002-06:00

Hi, everyone! I'd like to open up the floor today to all questions you might have concerning writing, my books, publishing, or even just me. I love it when other authors do this because it's fun to see what questions are asked, and I almost always learn something new about them. And what's even more fun is for me to interact with you! I love interacting here on my blog, and I feel like a lot of that has been missing lately.

So have at it! Ask away and I'll be answering all day in the comments section.

The Signing and Reading! With Pictures!

2011-10-11T09:51:00.006-06:00

So I'm a little wound up from last night - my first-ever signing and reading at a bookstore. First I want to say thank you to everyone who gave me advice yesterday for publicly reading. You want to know what's funny? I completely forgot that I used to do readings all the time in college. I'd go to the Open Mics and read poetry at least once a month. I won awards for some of my short stories and read them aloud at the presentation nights. This isn't new to me. I only remembered this as I was sitting at the panel table with the other authors. I thought, "Oh, this isn't so new after all. It's just been, like, ten years..."

Anyway, the reading went fantastic! Here I am giving a little information about myself to the audience, and then reading half of the first chapter of Monarch.

See those monarch wings? Yeah, those are wings that my awesome friend Natalie Whipple wore to show her undying support of my work. After all, Monarch is what brought us together in the first place! Long story. But this book is special to our friendship. Thank you, Natalie!

My friend Stephanie McGee also came, as well as Michael Offutt (WHO IS GIVING AWAY A SIGNED COPY OF MONARCH TODAY ON HIS BLOG...) and my good friend Meghan Derico (who did my amazing author pictures) and her family. Didn't get a picture of the Dericos, sadly. Did I miss mentioning anyone who came? Sorry if I have!

One of the other authors was Melissa Menatti, who writes this drop-dead gorgeous poetry and presents it in the most unique, tangible way. Her book is incredible. I bought a copy and this is what it looks like:

Yes, way awesome! Loose pages you can read in any order you like. This girl understands poetry and as I listened to her read I was reminded of my college days and what I miss about writing poetry every day. Sigh. One of the other authors was Jessica McQuinn, who is published by the small press, Omnific Publishing. Yay for small press! Jessica writes romance, and it was a lot of fun to hear her read from her novel, Indivisible. The last author was Dorothy J. Varney, this lovely woman who has written about three of her husband's ancestors during the gold rush in California. Her writing is solid and gorgeous. You can see her books here.

All in all, a successful night! A great way to get my feet wet!

Don't forget to go leave a comment on Michael's blog to win a free signed copy of Monarch that he purchased last night.

Gearing Up for My First-Ever Signing at a Bookstore

2011-10-10T11:42:00.002-06:00

Last August I held a small launch party for my novella, Cinders. I held it at my home, and it was very low-key and small. I liked it that way. Not much stress. Everything was on my terms. And yes, I held it in my carport. I can always say I had humble beginnings.

Well, a lot has happened in one year. I have another book out, and it's a bigger deal for me. The launch party for Monarch will be held at a cafe called The Chocolate because it's brilliantly perfect for the novel. Besides, who doesn't want chocolate surrounding their launch party?

I have been invited, however, to The King's English Local Author Event this evening. It's a signing and reading - a way for The King's English Bookshop to celebrate local debut authors. I will be there with three other authors on a panel for questions and answers, five-minute readings from each of us, and a signing.

Although I don't think this is anything remotely large on the bookstore's end, I am still excited. But I'm also extremely nervous. I'm not quite sure what to expect at all, and outside of a few close friends, I'm not sure who is going to show up to see me. Most everyone seems to be holding out for the launch party this Saturday instead. Mostly, I'm nervous about the reading. I've practiced it over and over and over, and I still feel like a complete fool reading it. Maybe it's because I'm reading a tough, spy male's point-of-view from my wimpy little female voice. I don't know.

Any suggestions on reading aloud to an audience?

My Big Interview with Sarah LaPolla from the Curtis Brown Literary Agency

2011-10-07T13:38:00.003-06:00

Have you wanted to know more about self-publishing and indie publishing (publishing traditional without an agent) from a literary agent's perspective?

Sarah LaPolla with Curtis Brown Literary Agency in New York asked me if I'd be willing to share some information on her series this week. I'm the last to go since I round out the experiences with both self-publishing and indie publishing. I'm happy that through this Sarah seems to have changed her opinion on self-publishing. And let me tell you - that's a big deal coming from a literary agent!

So...take a moment and go look at Sarah's amazing series this past week. And go read my post! I'm giving exact numbers on Cinders, too, which is something I get asked about all the time. The statistics might surprise you where I'm standing at the moment.

You Have the Power

2011-10-06T07:28:00.002-06:00

I hit a new peak in my writing - and in my life - sometime last year. It was like I had been climbing a mountain and didn't realize I was in a foggy haze. Then, somehow, I came out of that fog and realized I was on the top of a mountain. I could see everything around me. I could see the peaks I had reached in years past. I could see other mountains off in the distance, even higher than the one where I was standing.

What was this peak?

For me, it was several things in succession. First, it was about the stories I wanted to write. I think the easiest way to describe it is that instead of holding a manuscript in my hands made of stone with a chisel pounding out the words, I was holding a piece of putty. It resembled a book - a manuscript - but instead of something completely solid, it was almost fluid. I saw it as a story, not a book, not a novel. It was something that flowed along the lines of storytelling rather than pounding out something called a book. I realized for the very first time how fluid this putty was in my hands - how I could pull pieces off and reshape them, how I could pound it flat, roll it into a scroll or a ball or a pyramid. It was three-dimensional. It was so much more magical than a pile of papers called a book.

Story.

It's malleable.

You can delete scenes. Change characters. Cut chapters. Change the ending. Throw in a new beginning. You can rewrite the entire freaking book without even a second thought because you have that confidence and power that the story will work no matter what you do to that piece of putty in your hands.

When I realized all this about my writing, a new chapter in my life began, as well. I started down one peak and started hiking up to another. The fog drifted down below - and it has yet to permanently rise back up to where I am. It's a nice feeling. It opened a door to me realizing that nothing in my life has to be set in stone, either. Most decisions I make are malleable. If I'm unhappy anywhere at any point, there are always choices before me. A good friend of mine once told me if she's unhappy with a publishing house, she'll move on to somewhere else. If she wants a new agent, she can get another one. If at any point writing and publishing makes her miserable, she will stop and find something else in her life to make her happy because I certainly hope none of us are so one-dimensional that only one thing in life can make us happy.

That.

That is freeing.

I love the poster up above. I saw it on Facebook the other day, and it reminded me of this moment I had last year when I realized that I do have the power at any given moment to say THIS CAN CHANGE and it will not hurt me or the story or my life if I do not let it.

It's an amazing thing to take charge of your own career and life with courage. Sometimes I forget this and fall into a pit of suckiness. I trip on a rock and black out for a second, or I let that fog curl around my eyes for a moment, but I get out a lot faster than I used to.

So I don't know if anything I can say can get you to the top of that mountain faster if you haven't already reached it. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I just know that grasping my power as a storyteller has made all the difference in my attitude about life and writing. I hope you can experience something similar if you haven't already. Understanding that your life and the stories you're creating aren't set in stone is an amazing thing. It allows you to view more clearly those other peaks you may one day reach - which will never be easy, but definitely worth it. It's my hope that none of us ever underestimate that power.

About Failure and What You're Probably Missing When You Don't Embrace It

2011-10-04T12:17:00.004-06:00

I want to talk about failure today because I think we spend most of our time caught up in the dreams of success - and if we do succeed, we get caught up in that, too. Success, success, success, everywhere! No failure for you!

I think there's something we're missing when we go out of our way to avoid failure. Last night I watched an interview with J.K. Rowling and Oprah and something Rowling said really struck me. She said we talk about success all the time, but we avoid failure like some toxic plague. If we fail, well, that's just bad, isn't it? That's not necessarily true. It doesn't have to be bad. It doesn't have to be pleasant, but it sure can be freeing. Rowling says:

It's the ability to use failure that often leads to the greatest success.

In the past few years of my life I've been getting better at accepting failure and using it for success. Sometimes, pleasantly, I've found that anticipating failure turned the tables right around. When I self-published my novella, Cinders, I desperately wanted it to be huge and wonderful and a smashing success, but I was also firmly braced for an epic failure. So far, it has landed somewhere in the middle. I've felt like many things about that book have failed - not the writing or anything - more like the presentation and how it affected reviews, and ultimately, sales. Later this week I'm guest posting for Curtis Brown's literary agent, Sarah LaPolla. She's doing a short series about self-publishing and small press publishing that I think every author should read. In my post I'll be talking about the number of sales for Cinders so far, what I spent on the book, and how it has turned out.

Although some things about Cinders failed, I've never once talked about them in public as a failure - until now. Why? Because I've used them to move forward and grow and learn. I've made that book a success for me. I let it open doors.

J.K. Rowling says in her Harvard speech:

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all.

That says it all right there, I think. If you let failure in any form - EPIC or tiny - become a foundation to build on, you'll only be heading straight for success.

The novel I'm working on right now? Yeah, I've been letting the fear of failure choke me. I've been letting it kill this book a slow, painful death, and it will become a failure if I don't free up and allow myself to succeed. Sometimes we can catch ourselves before we fall. Sometimes we can't. If this book does fail, I'm not going to freak out. I will simply work with what I have and move forward. It will be a foundation. A springboard. A chance.

What will you do with your failures?

Is a Certain Book Not Your Cuppa Tea? Check Out What This Reader Did When She Didn't Like Mine...

2011-09-28T09:02:00.005-06:00

Last night one of the readers who signed up to review Monarch for my blog tour emailed me about the book. She was concerned that she had tried to read the book three times and just couldn't get into it. The subject matter clearly didn't interest her, and although she enjoyed my novella, Cinders, she just couldn't make herself like Monarch. Naturally, since she received a free copy of the book to review, she was concerned about not finishing the book and still owing me a review of a book she obviously didn't like enough to finish.

Let me tell you how refreshing this is.

Refreshing, you ask?

Why, yes! To me, a mark of a good reader is one who can read a book and understand that even if the book doesn't catch their fancy, that doesn't mean it sucks. A good reader is one who refrains from negatively (and by negatively, I mean mostly bashing) talking about a book in public - either in a review or otherwise - just because it didn't fit their expectations or into their particular "this was amazing and blew me away" category. A good reader is one who steps back like this reader did and treats the author's work with respect.

In turn, I have a lot of respect for this particular reader. Her email (and my response to her) is something I will remember for a long time. She was concerned that I would be offended, but that emotion didn't come to me at any point during our conversation. I was a little disappointed that she didn't like the book, but that's natural and it quickly went away. Offended? No way. I quickly explained to her how hard for me it is to get into certain genres, as well. I completely understood her situation.

My point today is how important your responses are to a book in public and in private. No author expects 5-star ratings from every single reader. No author expects glowing reviews with nothing negative ever said. In fact, the overall rating of a book looks better if there are some negative reviews in there. But I'll tell you what - an author is going to respect and remember the reader who respects their work no matter what star rating they give it. Honesty is a must, but so is handling that honesty in a way that doesn't bash the book or the author. Respect is never a wasted effort.

My sincere hope is that no reader ever feels obligated to like my work just because they interact with me here online - or because they signed up to review my book. I'll always understand!

Have you ever run across reviews that clearly bash the author and the book just because the reader didn't like the subject matter or genre? Does that even help you make a decision to purchase the book?

How To Publish Your First Book in 10 Steps ... Well, If You're Me

2011-09-23T08:19:00.006-06:00

1. In high school, when you're 15 years old, get inspired. Whip out a notebook and start writing a story about a girl who's kidnapped by the most unlikely criminals.

2. Don't tell anybody about it.

3. Keep working on the story over and over and over and then tell everyone about it. Also, make EVERYONE read it, whether they want to or not.

4. Finish the book. Rewrite it a few times. Write another book.

5. Go to college and stop writing novels because you think YOU SUCK as a writer and editing is the only way to go for you.

6. Let four years go by. Write poetry and short stories. Finish college.

7. Get married. Don't write one word on anything for FIVE YEARS.

8. Have a kid and get bored. Remember that writing career you went to school for. Start working on that first book again. Write another book and then another one. And another one. Then whip that first one out again.

9. Get a publishing deal. Finish up your FINAL revisions on the book.

10. Breathe a deep sigh of relief after 16 years of work and waiting and fretting that this book you've loved forever will never be free. Hug the book and shoo it out the door to your publisher. Let it grow up. And move on.

I am happy to announce that THE BREAKAWAY, a young adult contemporary thriller, will be published by Rhemalda Published fall of 2012. I don't have a release date yet, but my publisher tells me it could be as soon as June. I should know in a little while. Cover art is already underway and edits will be happening in the next little while, too. This is simply one of the best moments of my life and I don't even completely know why. I know the book still has more changes to undergo once it lands on my editor's desk, but this moment of actually sending it to my publisher is monumental for me. Just had to share because, well, I think it's in these moments that authors realize why they write in the first place. To discover and share.

And remember, the road can be VERY, VERY LONG, but so totally worth it.

You can read more about THE BREAKAWAY here. The cover shown is just one I slapped together. The real cover is being created by one of Rhemalda Publishing's artists, Melissa Williams. I've seen a mock-up already, and it's gorgeous!

Authors, Stop Fighting Your Instincts!

2011-09-21T10:12:00.001-06:00

I was talking to a friend on Facebook today and he mentioned that he is working on an old project and having a hard time fighting the editing-while-writing syndrome. He said it's really slowing him down. I know exactly what he means because I do the same thing.

Write a paragraph. Read it. Read it again. Tweak. Read it again. Finally move onto the next.Write a page. Go back to that paragraph up above. Edit it some more. Then edit the page.

Ten times.

Soon, three hours have passed and all I've written is a freaking page. Waste of time? Maybe. I know many writers have said that if you write like this you end up with better drafts - meaning less revisions in the long run. This means that your writing time ends up being about the same either way. This is true for me, at least. I've tried to fight editing while writing, but what do I end up with? Stifled creativity.

It so happens that if I follow my instincts and edit while I write new material that I actually get more inspiration. I realize things I wouldn't have realized if I had plowed on through. This is how MY brain works. Some famous authors (I won't name any names) say this is a WRONG way to write.

Excuse me?

Last time I checked, there was no RIGHT way to write for every single author. There is only a right way to write for you. And to figure out that right way means you need to do a lot of writing. A lot of revising. A lot of reading. I get a lot of people asking me what my advice is to new writers. Well, that's my advice, right there. Stop fighting your instincts. Instead, let them flourish. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to follow rules that feel completely wrong for your style.

Rules are not bad. All these little lists that authors and agents keep throwing up on their blogs (and I've done it, too) with rules about what makes good fiction good and what YOU should be doing to fix your fiction drive me kind of batty (hence the saying on my blog header). But that's only because I have my rules figured out right now. Sometimes I throw one out and replace it with another. Sometimes I forget all of them and just do whatever the hell I want to do and amazing things happen. Sometimes I desperately need them. But they are my rules - the ones I've tried and absorbed into my instincts because they work for me. Most of them I made up on my own.

So rules aren't bad, but I do want to stress that the greatest rule is to figure out what works best for you and follow your own instincts. Pay attention to what works elsewhere, what other people suggest, but do not let any of that rule you or your writing. Ever.

Oh, Lookie What's Here!

2011-09-19T16:22:00.006-06:00

The matte cover copies of Monarch have landed! I'm so much in love that like any author giddy with excitement (ok, maybe not every other is as strange as I am), I surrounded myself with a bunch of copies and took a picture.

Yes, I know I'm a dork. But I'm a happy dork.

So here's the difference in size between the two books. Because Rhemalda switched printers they had to change the size of the book, but I am happy about this. The inside has more white space now and the title is now bigger, as well. The back is also lovely with more space. I have to admit I will miss the smaller size. I really, really loved that size, but this matte cover and all the other little beautiful additions to the book make this one just as special.

So, if you want a chance to WIN ONE OF THE GORGEOUS MATTE COPIES with a bunch of this swag...

...Givewaway is now closed. Thanks for entering!

How Do You Get Published?

2011-09-15T09:59:00.003-06:00

Today as I celebrate the release of my first traditionally published novel, Monarch, I wonder if there's anything I can possibly say that will express my gratitude, excitement, fear, and hopes of finally reaching this point. In my career so far things have happened gradually. There has been no big bang, no rush to the top, nothing that has made me feel like anything earth-shattering has happened.

I get emails sometimes from authors asking how to get published. What's the best course? Is self-publishing the answer?

I want to say to them that there is no outside answer. In many ways it can be about who you know, some luck, a lot of hard work, but I've found for me it has been one thing over and over.

Patience.

Patience with yourself. All that writing you've done. Do some more and have patience that you'll only get better with each word, page, book. Is it taking years? That's completely normal.

Patience with the industry. Traditional publishing is not broken. It may have kinks that need ironing out, but that will happen. Things change, but publishing will always be around in some form or another. Self-publishing is obviously an answer for some authors, and although I think it's a fabulous route to go, I honestly don't think it's for everyone.

Patience with others. Your beta readers when they take so long to read your book. Agents when they never get back to you. Family and friends when they don't understand what you're trying to do.

As I was writing books a few years ago I honestly looked at my work and knew it wasn't ready. For five years after college I didn't write a word. When I started again I was in bad shape and I knew it. So I forced myself to be patient even though lots of friends around me were getting agents and publishing contracts. And trust me, I KNOW how hard that is to see when you aren't getting anywhere. But, I want to point out that things have progressed faster than I thought they would and that's the point I want to make today.

You never, ever know when things are going to pick up.

But they'll only pick up if you keep working hard.

For me? I'm very happy today. I feel validated and respected and all those wonderful things that come with publication, but at the same time I'm still just me and I still have huge goals and things I'm working toward. I still need a lot of patience and have a long way to go. I hope that never changes. So tell me, what's your best advice to those seeking their dreams?

Why I'm Irritated That Rhemalda Publishing is Listed on Predators & Editors as Not Recommended

2011-09-13T10:15:00.000-06:00

**this post is not meant to put down Predators & Editors, a fantastic resource for authors and others in the creative field**

I get several inquiries a month asking me about my publisher, Rhemalda Publishing. More often than not these inquiries include something along the lines of, "Why is your publisher listed in Predators & Editors as Not Recommended?"

Sigh.

I've talked with most of the authors from Rhemalda Publishing and I don't know a single one of them who is unhappy with their experience with them. That should speak for itself, but if that's not enough to convince you, go have a look at Rhemalda's website. If you're not impressed, go find another publisher you think you'd be happier with. I won't be offended. Rhemalda is very new, yes. They are a small press, yes. So keep that in mind. Small publishers do things differently than larger publishers and if you're not comfortable with that you probably won't be comfortable signing with a small publisher. Here's what I love about Rhemalda.

(1) Rhemalda works closely with their authors, meaning the author has direct input over cover art, editing and marketing, among other aspects of the novel's publication. Rhemalda makes final decisions, yes, but the author can never say they were not consulted and taken seriously about something integral.

(2) Rhemalda does not charge their authors for anything and never will.

(3) Rhemalda's staff, including their editors and artists, are some of the nicest people I've ever met. They also love every single book they publish and give it and the author plenty of attention and passion.

(4) Rhemalda keeps growing and I'm proud to be a part of it. They are professional in everything they do, including distribution and marketing.

And no, Rhemalda Publishing did not ask me to write this post. I want to say that if you are interested in publishing anywhere, you need to do your homework. Every author needs to research in more than a few places if they have questions about a specific agent, publisher, or editor. What might be right for one author is not right for another.

Also, I always worry about friends or acquaintances of mine who submit to Rhemalda and are rejected. I hope no hard feelings are harbored. Rhemalda gets so many submissions and since they are a small press they can only publish a specific amount of books a year. There is a path for everyone and mine is different from yours. This post isn't to try and convince anyone to try and publish with my publisher. It's not meant to prove P&E wrong for whatever reasons they put Not Recommended right next to a publisher I'm quite happy with. This post is simply a way for me to publicly share information and my feelings on the matter since I get a lot of people asking me about it. I wish everyone the best of luck in their publishing path!

To Celebrate Monarch's Official Release on Thursday, I Will Be...

2011-09-12T12:20:00.002-06:00

Hey, everyone! This week is exciting! Monarch's official birthday is on Thursday! Yay! It's getting fantastic reviews and the blog tour is going well. Thank you to everyone who is participating in any way. I am so grateful!

I just received these in the mail:

That's a lot of flyers! I'm not sure I'll use them all, but I'll try. It's a flyer for my launch party on October 15th. You can see the full flyer here. And if you look closely you'll see the 40% off price! Just go to the link listed on the flyer or click here.

So what will I be doing on Thursday? Probably not much during the day, but I will be participating in a live chat over on Annie Cechini's blog with Ashley Johansen, Liza Kane, DB Smyth, Lydia Sharp, and Sierra Gardner in the evening at 9:00 p.m. EST. If you haven't done one of these before, it's so easy! Just click on the link and jump on in. You can interact or just observe. One lucky participant will receive a free print copy of Monarch mailed to you from Rhemalda Publishing. I'll also be throwing in a swag package (all signed stuff!) as well. You can find the chat and archives here. I hope to see you there!

The Skewed Perception of the Internet - How Much Do You Really Know Someone?

2011-09-09T11:16:00.004-06:00

I read a post today by D.B. Smyth, a talented author and good online friend of mine. She wrote from her heart in this post about feeling jealousy for other authors who have finally reached the publication sphere. She knows she shouldn't feel jealous. She knows it's silly because everyone's in a different spot on their path. There are so many different paths.

Yesterday I spent the day with my amazing friend, Natalie, and we talked about food and kids and life and a little bit about writing and even less about the Internet. But what we did talk about concerning the Internet was how insanely skewed it makes everything. You read a blog, follow tweets, read posts on Facebook, and you think you might know the story behind something. You might blindly assume, feel jealousy for another success, see the bright shining moment in someone's career and not see the ugliness, stress, and absolute sacrifice beneath it all. If you saw the whole picture you would not be jealous.

This happens to me all the time. I have my own little list of authors I think I know. My heart burns with jealousy every time I see something about their book sales, a huge foreign rights sale, a drop-dead gorgeous cover, hundreds of beautiful reviews, another book sale and mention of a huge advance with one of those pretty shiny publishers over in New York.

Sheesh, why couldn't that be ME?

And I look at my own little career and small successes and feel sorry for myself.

Then I go over on D.B. Smyth's blog and read her post that mentions me as someone she's jealous of and I stop dead in my tracks and realize how wrong I have been about everything. And I think about me and Natalie's conversation yesterday about how much people assume online. And I see again how much I was wrong.

100% wrong.

Skewed.

The truth is the internet is like a filmy gauze cover over every single one of us and it seems the bigger you get online, the more successes you earn, the harder you work to gain what you have worked your entire life for, the more filmy and opaque that gauze becomes. The oddest thing of all? People think it gets THINNER.

So. Not. True.

As much as I'd like all of you to really KNOW me, it's impossible unless you see me, talk and hang out with me any way you can, care about me as much as I care about you. Put in the time I put into you, too. All that jazz. As hard as I try to be honest on this blog and in all my online interactions, I can only get to a certain point before that gauze falls over everything. You can't assume anything from the obvious perceptions online. One person might look at my career and be completely unimpressed and another might look at my accomplishments and grow green with jealousy no matter how happy they are for me. Trust me. I've been there. I know how that feels.

What it all boils down to is we have very little (if any at all) control over how and what people perceive and feel and say and think about us - especially, especially, especially online.

I want you to know me. I'd love for every person who stops by here to understand me on a specific level, but that film won't lift. And I'm kind of glad because full exposure takes away too much protection in such a public sphere. We all kind of need that gauze. So I write posts like this and hope a tiny bit of the real me shines through. I adore the few who see a possible friendship and make an effort to stretch past the gauze to show me a bit of their friendship. That's how I have made some very dear friends. And it goes both ways. I have to make an effort, too.

This filmy gauze isn't restricted to online interactions only, but that could be a completely different post. I guess what I really would like to say today is how much respect I've gained for all of us who put ourselves out there like we do - struggling to find our own balanced perception.

When People Love You and Not Your Book, Which is More Often Than You Might Think

2011-09-07T07:53:00.001-06:00

I've run across an interesting thing that happens to artists. I'm married to an actor so I know this isn't only related to writers, of course. He does a lot of Shakespeare, which I'll admit, I used to dislike until I met him. I didn't understand Shakespeare and I thought he was overrated. Wow, was I wrong. Once I learned to appreciate him a whole new world of beauty opened up to me - including understanding an important part of my husband.

What I began to see, however, was that some of our family and many of our friends are in the same boat as I was before I learned to appreciate Shakespeare. They love Adam. They love me. They want to support both of us when I send out an email or call them up on the phone or tell them face-to-face that he's in a new play and that it's Shakespeare. Sometimes their face falls and they come up with an excuse on the spot not to attend. Trust me, I can tell every single time when someone doesn't want to force themselves to sit through a "bone-dry boring play" they don't think they'll enjoy. Other times, however, these loved friends and family will nod and say that sure, they'll try to come even though I can tell it's not something at the top of they're exciting-things-to-do-list.

I love them for that. I love those gestures of caring despite enduring something not entirely pleasant.

This, of course, extends into my own career. I can't count on my fingers and toes (because it's much more than 20) how many people have purchased and read my books just to support me. It truly means to the world to me that they do so. I have many emails from friends and family who have read Cinders, my novella from last year, and told me that it was different than they thought it would be - that they actually loved it and fully admit they didn't think they would. This doesn't always happen, though.

Awhile ago I wrote a post about friends and family who don't read your work. I was surprised at how many people commented and said I wasn't the only one who felt like my writing (one of the most important things in my life) was being ignored by some of the most loved people in my life. It hurts, honestly, because there are some people in my life who don't give a crap about my writing. They don't read this blog. They don't ask me about my career. If I happen to mention it they kind of shove it aside like its something they don't understand and its therefore not important. However, they do care about me as a person, so I ask myself, well, if they care me about as a person why don't they care about this absolutely essential part of me? Then I stop and ask myself what I might not be understanding about them. They might care deeply about something I could care less about. Goes both ways.

I'll admit I have high respect for those friends and family who really have no interest in what I do, but support me by trying to show an interest anyway. So thank you to anyone reading this who has read my work mostly because you want to support me more than you had an interest in the actual work. That says a lot about you as a person. I've tried to return that kindness with loved ones in my own life. In fact, the more I get into this career, the more I'm trying to open my eyes and see what I might be missing about the people around me.

I just want to make the point today that while there are many people in our lives who love us, they won't always understand and love what we do. It's much easier to relate to things we have in common with each other. The other day a friend of mine mentioned in chat that she was so, so sorry she hadn't bought and read my book Cinders yet. She said she felt lame and awful for being such a bad friend. I told her (and I meant every single word from the bottom of my heart) that she did not have to read my books to be a good friend. I loved her anyway.

And its true. I hope other writers in my life understand if I don't get to their work quickly. I know how personal it can feel when you want someone to read your work and they don't seem to care. But my advice today is to understand that if you're an artist (writer, actor, whatever) that this might always be an issue and you never know the other side of the story. If you're upset over someone not caring, the other person probably doesn't even know or understand why. There might just be something about them you're not understanding, either. All I know is that when I let myself open my eyes to that Shakespearean side of my husband my life expanded just a little bit more.

So how do you feel about this? An issue for you? A non-issue? Something you've grown beyond and have advice about?

Random Acts of Publicity

2011-09-06T19:13:00.004-06:00

This is totally random. Random time. Random, random, random.

The 3rd Annual Random Acts of Publicity, September 6-9, is a week to celebrate your friend’s book, or your favorite book, by doing a Random Act of Publicity: Blog, Link, Like, Review, or Talk about the book. (BLLuRT it Out!) Click here for FAQs. Anyone can participate!

Today I want to talk about two books from friends of mine. And please don't feel excluded if I didn't choose your book. This is random, remember? Some random Rhemalda love!

First up is Amber Argyle's Witch Song. We are distantly related, yes, and we didn't plan to both sign with Rhemalda. It just happened. Story in a nutshell.

Witch Song is a haunting story with lots of action and emotion. I got to read this book before it was published and I fell in love with Amber's ability to describe things in ways that make me jealous. You'll have to read the book to find out why!

Follow Amber
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Blog

Next up is Karen Hooper's Tangled Tides which should come out in November from Rhemalda as an eBook first. Cover envy right here! I love mermaids. Can I just say that I am really, really, really excited to read this! Karen's story isn't your fluffy mermaid fantasy. It's gritty and dark and real. I had the opportunity to read the first 50 pages in order to recommend her to Rhemalda. I'm so glad they signed her!

Follow Karen
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Eternal Moonshine of a Daydreaming Mind blog
Official Author website

Ernie Laurence Interviews Me for Monarch

2011-09-05T09:00:00.003-06:00

I'd like to introduce Ernie Laurence today. He so graciously offered to interview me for my blog tour, and the group blog he was going to post the interview didn't work out. So, I'm hosting Ernie today! Read on! I'll bet there's some things in here you didn't know before.

Ernest Wayne Laurence, Jr. is a writer of science-fiction and fantasy. Ernie has been writing since the 6th grade. Since then he has completed fifteen more novels, spending more time working on them than going to class and doing his homework in college. Once his wife realized just how many novels he had written, she began to strongly encourage him to publish, something that he had never given much thought to. His sixteenth book, too large to publish, became two (Islands of Loar: Sundered and Islands of Loar: Causality). He has since expanded the triology into a quartet including Islands of Loar: Rebellion and Islands of Loar: Prophecy.
Ernie is currently seeking to establish a small press publishing company to not only publish his own works but to publish other authors within related genres that hold to a specific standard of quality in the content of their writing. He will likely continue teaching as well.

Interview

How long have you been writing and what got you interested in the first place?

Michelle: I’ve been writing since I was about ten years old. I can’t remember exactly what got me interested in writing, but it must have been reading. My mom was always an avid reader, and I had some great teachers in school who urged us to read and write as much as possible. I’ve always loved stories.

Can you describe the highlights of your journey a bit from first word written through learning the craft, publishing, and up through Monarch?

Michelle: Monarch started because I was really sick of working on my very first novel, The Breakaway. That book was going nowhere and I needed to get away from it. I had picked it up from when it was first written 14 years earlier and the amount of work required to make it good was overwhelming. So I decided to do National Novel Writing Month and that’s where I started Monarch. It had come about from several short stories I’d written about over the years, but I think the initial idea came from reading about the monarch butterflies in Annie Dillard’s Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.

You've written speculative fiction (fantasy) as well as spy thriller. What mental shifts did you have to make between the two?

Michelle: I don’t write straight genres, so the shift wasn’t too big of a deal, honestly. I focus on characters, mostly. The main mental shift I had to make between these two different stories was setting. For Cinders, I had to research a specific time period I wasn’t entirely familiar with. The book is fantasy, but I wanted the feel of a medieval time period, and I wanted a realistic feel to it like with my contemporary fiction. Also, my fantasy work has magic in the plot, and that has been quite interesting to figure out!

Was there any specific impetus for the marital conflicts in the book?

Michelle: If you’re asking whether or not I’ve had marital issues in my own life, nope. My parents are and always have been happily married, and so have my husband’s parents. I’ve had a wonderful marriage so far, as well. I’m not sure where all this conflict comes from in the themes of my fiction, but I suspect it has to do with the problems I see in society and others’ lives around me.

What method do you use to write your stories? I.e. do you use outlines, or top down planning, or do you just sit and write and let the characters guide you?

Michelle: As I’ve written more and more books, I’ve learned that a loose outline (more like an in-depth synopsis) works best for me to start a novel. First, I must the get the idea and think about it for several weeks to months, then I write the first few pages or chapters, and then I write the synopsis. From there I plan out my characters a bit more, do research, and then dive into the first draft.

What effect does your religious faith have on your writing?

Michelle: I haven’t written or put religion into any of my books thus far, but I do find that my beliefs are often streaked through my characters and do show up in my heavier themes.

How has networking on sites like Facebook helped you grow as an author? Market the book?

Michelle: Networking on my blog, Facebook, and Twitter, has helped a lot with finding other writers and friends who support me. It has been invaluable. As for marketing, it has helped there a bit, too. It’s a great stepping stone to reaching a wider reader network.

Tell us about your relationship with Rhemalda? Why choose small press? What advantages have you experienced at a small press publisher like Rhemalda?

Michelle: I love Rhemalda Publishing! They are literally like a family to me and a lot of the other authors they work with. One of the main advantages I’ve seen with working with a small press is that I can start out small and work my way up. Or, if my books do really well at Rhemalda, I may just stay there for the rest of my career. I don’t really know at this point, but for now I’m very happy there. I get a lot of say over my covers. They keep in contact with me almost daily, and I feel very important, respected, and valued there.

If you could give only two pieces of advice to authors who have been educating themselves to become better authors, gone to all the conferences, and leapt through all the hoops yet without success, what would you say?

Michelle: Never give up. Keep your options open. There are lots of options out there, and lots of paths. Everyone’s path is different. The only unsuccessful author is one who gives up.

Did you consider e-publishing at any time? What are your thoughts on it, especially self-publishing?

Michelle: I did self-publish my novella, Cinders, which is how I indirectly found Rhemalda Publishing. They have since then signed me on for Bonded, a collection of three of my novellas - Cinders one of them.

I think self-publishing is a great choice for certain projects and certain authors. I don’t think it’s for everyone, and I don’t think it should be rushed into, but it is an excellent option for those who do their research and go into it with a professional frame of mind.

What's next for you as a writer?

Michelle: I currently have two more books signed with Rhemalda Publishing. The Breakaway will be published in 2012 and Bonded will be published in 2013.

Right now I’m focusing on helping other writers, building relationships, and writing, writing, writing!

Feeling Excluded and How to Deal

2011-09-04T09:16:00.005-06:00

I think one of the worst things a person can experience in this life is feeling excluded. The worst-case scenario of this is feeling excluded on purpose (if you have absolute proof, anyway). I've dealt a lot with this feeling in my life, and I've often stopped to wonder if it's because I'm short. I'm not kidding. I am short. Maybe not the shortest person around, but usually shorter than any other adult in any given room. I'm pretty darn sure it has something to do with why I was often last to be chosen for things even in a professional corporate environment. Short people are often overlooked unless they're some sort of spitfire always in the spotlight with their rocket-like, sparkling personality (which I'm so not that personality). However, height has little to do with online personality, so how do I explain feeling excluded online?

You're probably right when you stop and think, Well, Michelle, maybe it's you, not everyone else. And you'd be right because a good friend shared this with me the other day. Thank you, Angela!

There is no reality only perception. If we believe something is negative than it will always be negative, but if we change our opinion then the world follows suit. All experiences are 70% internal and only 30% external. What happens in life does not define us, but our attitude of our circumstances shapes our reality.

See, this is my problem trying to control that extra 30% when it's really the minority. If I only let the 70% take over, I'd be as happy as a clam most of the time. So if I click over to an online friend's blog and scroll down their list of "REALLY GREAT BLOGS" and my blog is not on that list while practically everyone else I know is on there, I'm not going to take it personally. If I don't get a response in a heartfelt email to someone I highly admire, I'm not going to take it personally. If I see a friend hardcore pimping another friend's book and ignoring mine, I'm not going to take it personally. If I try to engage in a conversation and I'm gently nudged out of the way, I'm not going to take it personally. If my family forgets to tell me about some huge event, I'm not going to take it personally.

But those seem like direct jabs, right?

Wrong. It's all perception because in reality the world doesn't revolve around any one person and people get overlooked. No one owes us time in the spotlight, and 99.9% of the time we feel slighted, it has nothing to do with us. Slowly, as I shed more of my immaturity, my eyes open wider to what it means to truly be happy and I'm positive it has everything to do with that 70% my friend talked about up there. Even if there is a direct jab at me - even if a situation falls under that .001% of "I'm excluding you on purpose," I can rise above that. The hard part comes if I'm on the other end of that and someone feels I've purposely excluded them. I just hope at that point that if they confront me I can clear things up. Most of the time people seethe in silence and that usually never ends well.

So be aware of the 30% and wrap yourself up in the 70%. Don't let people walk all over you, but don't let life control your attitude with that 30%. I'm short, but it's only my perception that I'm short that makes it an issue. I have a shorter trip to the ground when I fall.

How do you deal with feeling excluded?

Simple Things I Wish I'd Known About Writing

2011-09-01T08:21:00.004-06:00

Welcome to Christauna today! I read her post the other day and thought it would be great to put up here on my blog. She graciously agreed to guest post here. As you all know, I don't believe in RULES for writing, but these are some I've adopted into my writing that work for me, so if you're looking for good ways to cut word count and tighten up your prose, you might want to try these, too.
_______________________

I’m so excited to be here today on the Innocent Flower. Hi everyone! *waves* Thanks to my good friend, Michelle, for inviting me.

I want to start by saying my editor, Sheryl, is brilliant. I received my first edits from her last week, which only went to show me how much I didn't know. It never fails—feel like you know everything about a subject and the universe will make sure you discover that you don't know anything. Nor have you even scratched the surface of knowing anything. And may possibly never know anything.

So I open the edited document and my first reaction is, "HOLY BLOOD RED PENCIL, BATMAN!" I really believe she not only bled on my manuscript but found a way to send it to me through cyberspace.

Now I'll admit this didn't shake me up like it would have a year ago, or if I'd received the same information by someone less trustworthy. I was delighted, not only that I hadn't self-published (not that I'm opposed to self-publishing but in my novel R.A.G.E.'s case I would have been shooting myself in the foot), but that at last I had been handed the tools by a brilliant professional, (have I mentioned that yet? Brilliant, I tell you!) to give R.A.G.E. the greatest chance out there in the big, scary world.

So after my original reaction and then my secondary reaction and perhaps a couple more reactions, (NONE of which involved any tears or welling about the eyes of any kind) I planted myself in front of my computer and went about learning how to apply these tools.

Now I'm going to pass them along to you. Chances are you already know all this and you are welcome to roll your eyes and go find something more interesting to do. However, if you don't know about them go ahead and apply these techniques to your own work and you'll be surprised how much it tightens the writing.

1. The "ING" trap. This is what my editor calls it and you can read all about it here.

In my manuscript I'd call of more of a disease. Once I started it just seemed to spread. This is when (usually in an attempt to start your sentence with something other than he/she/I/my or your character's name) you start instead with a participle.

Example from R.A.G.E. "Trembling fingers touched my neck, searching for comfort from my dad." Urgh! Okay, this sentence is horrendous on many levels but would you just look at that stinking participle at the beginning. How about, "My trembling fingers searched my neck for the pendant that always gave me comfort from my father." Not great, but better, and it doesn't start with an "ing" word. Click on the link for much more eloquently detailed info with examples of when the “ing” word is appropriate at the beginning of a sentence and something about gerunds and other such grammatical nonsense.

2. ‘There is/there are' and ‘it is/it was' constructions.

This one is simple simply because it’s a simple fix…erm, yeah. An example from my own work. "It was my leg, of all things, that hurt the worst." I mean seriously isn't it just better to write, "My leg, of all things, hurt the worst." I went and did a "find" (but not replace because you're going to have to use your brain to fix these) of all the "it was"'s. Amazing! And tightened. And done. You can read more about it here.

3. The watching syndrome. Check for detailed info here.

This has to do with your character seeing things, hearing things, smelling things and such. Yes, of course we should have our characters using their five senses but it should be invisible.

Here's an example from RISK this time (book 2 in my 12th Dimension series), because I already went back and fixed the ones in R.A.G.E.: "I heard Max click a magazine into the M203 and start peppering bullets into the darkness." Not a bad sentence and technically correct. However, isn’t it so much cleaner just to say, "Max clicked a magazine into the M203 and peppered bullets into the darkness." Yes? Nod your head if you agree...did you just nod? And how about (also from RISK): "I saw the man lunging across the bed toward me, hands outstretched." How about instead: "The man lunged across the bed toward me, hands outstretched." Easy peasy and so much better.

4. And last, the Starting Syndrome. Link to awesome info here.

So often we have our characters starting to do things. You see it all the time in poor literature and even great literature. It’s normal to want to start something rather than just having your character do it. Example from RISK (again because it’s not yet been edited to death): “I started to warm a bit.” I mean really! I’m starting to warm? How about: “I warmed a bit.”

When you have things starting rather than simply doing you take away the immediacy of the moment. Without knowing it, or even the reader realizing it, you’ve distanced them from the story. You’ve taken them from standing next to your character and experiencing the sensations with them, to making them stand back and watch from a distance. Never a good idea. “Do, or do not. There is no try.” …or start, or whatever.

Now with all writing rules there are exceptions to these as well. Sometimes a character is actually really, truly, and in no other way starting to do something. For example: “The fabric brushed flowering pain against the abrasions on my arm as I started shrugging out of my camouflage top.” This character was starting but never got much further than that before pulling the top back on in the next sentence.

Just be cautious when you use “starts”. Also watch out for “began”’s.

Go ahead and read the other writing tips on the Shelfstealers website. You'll be happy you did and your manuscript as well as future (or current) editors/agents/readers will thank you.

Christauna Asay is the author of R.A.G.E., the first book in her 12th DIMENSION Sci-fi series coming from Shelfstealers in 2012. Go check out her blog Art 'N Writing when you get a chance.

R.A.G.E.

The only thing U.S. Army Specialist Kris Rose is more afraid of than the Commander destroying the world is that she will do it herself.

Specialist Kris Rose stumbles on a conspiracy involving stolen ammunition, exposing her to the scheming of an otherworldly comrade she once trusted. With a newfound control over electrical currents and a vigilante Special Ops team hunting her, Rose finds herself among beings from an alternate Dimension. Could Rose really be a violent criminal sentenced to rebirth on Earth as the punishment for her crimes?

As her mind threatens to crack under the strains of discovering her nefarious past, Rose must delve into memories of a life she doesn’t remember to save Earth from a war they cannot win.

I'm Eating a Peanut Butter and Tomato Sandwich for Breakfast

2011-08-31T09:29:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted for awhile. Honestly, I haven't been into blogging much at all lately. It's kind of losing it's sparkle for some reason, and I can't pinpoint why. I don't think it's necessarily time because I can always scrape up time for things I really want to do. Recently I've been chatting with a friend who has a wonderful blog that hasn't been getting much traffic lately. She asked me if I get discouraged when my blog traffic wanes. My answer was that I used to, but these past few months as I've visited and commented on less and less and blogs, my own traffic has waned and I haven't felt hurt by it. It's not that I don't care about the people whose blogs I used to read so faithfully because I really do care about them, but does someone have to faithfully read your blog to care about you? I think we all know the answer to that.

So about the title of my post. Yes, I'm eating a peanut butter and tomato sandwich for breakfast. I like them. A lot. Apparently other people do, too, if you search for them online, but that doesn't matter. I like them.

I keep thinking back on the few months that I closed down this blog and wasn't planning on starting it up again. I was in the same frame of mind as I'm getting now. I was tired of a lot of things - but especially of feeling like I had to please other people and meet certain criteria for my blog. Why did I feel that way? Social pressure, my own insecurities, I don't know. I just knew I had to step away before blogging became something very bad in my life. That's when I wrote Cinders, the book that has opened up countless doors for me.

Now, however, instead of closing down my blog, I'm taking a different approach.

Here's a confession: I LIKE TWILIGHT.

Why does that even have to be a confession? Why can't I just say I like the books and not feel like I have to defend my opinion? Because I'm not going to defend it. Nothing changes the fact that I enjoyed reading the books and read all four of them. I could care less why other people don't like them. There were things I didn't like about them, too, but so what? Yes, I'm a literary snob and can happily get lost in Faulkner or Shakespeare, but I still like other fiction, too. And *gasp* I even like writing that other fiction.

Here's a real confession: I've always been afraid to be myself, especially in real life when I'm around people. I think this goes back to high school or something. I always contort myself to other people and what they like. There are a few select people I can truly be myself around - my friend Natalie Whipple is one of them. I don't know why, but Natalie gets this idea of being yourself down to the very core. I just read one of her novels themed around the idea of being yourself, and it was brilliant

I'm going to stop trying to please other people and hide things about myself just because they might not be popular. I like Johnny Cash and New Age music. And Metallica. I love sashimi (those nice big slabs of raw fish you get at Japanese restaurants). And I really, really love peanut butter and tomato sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, or dinner or anywhere in between. I'll raise my daughter how I think is best despite what any of the other mothers think around here, and I'll have just one child if I want to have just one child. Thanks.

I have a quote in my living room that says "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." It's by e.e. cummings, and I never really understood it until right now.

Peanut Butter and Tomato Sandwich

1 slice of thick bread (I like whole wheat)

2 - 3 slices of garden-fresh tomato

peanut butter, chunky or smooth

salt

fresh ground pepper

Toast your bread and spread a thin or thick layer of peanut butter, however you like. Add the tomato slices and salt and pepper them. Voila! Enjoy if you dare, and if you don't like it, so what? Go eat something you really love. I won't judge you. Promise.

Much of My Advice in One Spot - Writer Love!

2011-08-23T10:12:00.002-06:00

I've been blogging for a long time now - heading into my fourth year. That means I've put up a lot of posts with advice and thoughts about writing and publishing. Instead of using labels and letting readers sort and sift through everything if they're trying to find something specific, I've spent the past few weeks getting a page finished called Writer Love. This page is organized by topic and also contains FAQs. You can find it permanently up in the tabs section of my blog.

I hope this page helps other writers who stumble upon my blog looking for answers. I receive a lot of emails about self-publishing and small presses and agents, so this page does seem needed.

Next to come is Reader Love! This page is going to take awhile, but I'll let you know when it's up.

If you have any questions you'd like to see addressed in the Writer Love section, please leave a comment on the page and I'll get to the questions as soon as possible.

How Small Presses Differ From Large Publishers in the Launch Area of Things, Namely Why Monarch is for Sale Early

2011-08-22T10:55:00.002-06:00

Official Launch Day

You know, I have an official launch day for my novel, Monarch, and that official launch day has felt like some huge looming date off in the horizon. However, nothing super important is really happening on September 15th, 2011, Monarch's official birthday. I'm not expecting many sales at all, and I'm not holding Monarch's launch party until a month later on October 15th.

So, in that respect, Monarch's launch day is not the be-all-end-all days of my life right now. In fact, it's kind of slipping from my radar altogether. If I was with a huge publisher, that would be the most stressful day ever. But also a very cool day, I'm assuming. Pros and cons, y'know?

Realistic Expectations

Unlike a large publisher who rakes in a huge amount of sales the first three months of a book's release, small or independent presses follow a different way of things. They're more like self-published books, which usually have very, very slow sales to begin with and gradually build up sales for the product as word-of-mouth increases. At least from my publisher, there is absolutely 100% no pressure to sell big right after a book debuts. They know it's silly to expect a huge audience (especially for a debut author) right out of the gate. There's no huge advance that must be earned out. There's no ridiculous amount of money spent on marketing which must be made back. The books aren't sitting on thousands of bookshelves in brick and mortar stores needing to sell huge so that they stay on those shelves. They are on shelves, yes, but not at a number that's going to significantly hurt the publisher if they don't sell in the first heartbeat of the book's life and then returned to the publisher.

When the Book is FOR SALE
So where is all this going? You've got that right! Monarch's official release date isn't until September 15th, but let me tell you a secret. It's for sale now. Yep! Paperback, eBook, lots and lots of locations. It's up. Live. And for sale. Everywhere. Even bookstores if you want to go in and order it. This is exciting and extremely frightening all at the same time because that means my book is available for anyone and everyone to read now. I've got a lot of people reviewing the ARCs right now, and that has been nerve-wracking as well.

So, where can you get it? Find locations here.

So why is it for sale a few weeks early? It's got something to do with the distributor and printing press and how long it takes to load things to online retailers and places like Ingram and Baker & Taylor and getting the books sent out to bookstores and customers who have pre-ordered it. Honestly, I have no idea if books from larger publishers are ever available early. If they are, I don't think it's announced because I guess they like that big huge push right at the release date.

MONARCH

Nick’s life as a CIA spy should be fulfilling, but it has only given him unhappiness—a wife who committed suicide, and two daughters who resent everything he has become. Now, stuck in the Amazon on the last mission of his career, he must track down Matheus Ferreira, a drug lord and terrorist the U.S. has tried to bring down for years. If he succeeds, he’ll have the chance to start his life over again.

Just when Nick is on the brink of catching Ferreira, he’s framed for a murder that turns his world upside down. His only chance of survival lies in West Virginia where Lilian Love, a woman from his past, owns the secluded Monarch Inn. He’s safe, but not for long…

Purchase

Read the first chapter

Download a reader guide

Read review snippets

Cheese and the Beach

2011-08-20T16:56:00.000-06:00

Yeah, the beach. The Oregon beach. It's pretty much the best beach ever because that's where I spent nearly every summer vacation as a kid. Nostalgic. Yeah. And then there was cheese at the Tillamook Cheese Factory. Oh. Yum.

We had lots of fun as a family at the beach house we like to rent (and yes, it was cold and windy, but at least it wasn't raining!) I also read a lot of books in the car. Now I will head into some more reading territory and final revisions on The Breakaway. Then Monarch's launch should be here by then. Whee! Lots of reviews are coming up. If you haven't seen the list, check it out. If you want a free copy, there are lots of chances. I'm now going to go finish off the cheese curds in my fridge, otherwise known as "squeaky cheese."

How Do You Find a Beta Reader?

2011-08-09T07:47:00.000-06:00

I've had a lot of people asking me about beta readers lately, so here are my thoughts.

When I first heard the term beta reader, all I could think about was my beta fish in college. I had that fish for two years. I named it Jessifer. I don't have that fish anymore, but I have beta readers. I also have alpha readers. I don't have a set critique group, which can work differently from beta readers who might change from project to project.

Alpha Reader - Someone who reads a written work in stages as it is being written and provides feedback, often very positive, to the author for moral support and to spot any large issues as they're happening.

Beta Reader - Someone who reads a written work as a completed draft and provides feedback, often constructive criticism, to the author for revisions and edits.

All writers seem to need different things since we're all different. Yesterday I wrote about publishing your first book too fast. I wrote about that because more often than not, my own work needs some hefty read-throughs and revisions before it's even close to ready for publication. I couldn't do this without beta readers and it's hard for me to imagine writing something so wonderfully perfect that it doesn't need help from outside my own brilliance. And yes, I'm being sarcastic when I say brilliance. My first drafts are anything but brilliant. I have noticed, however, that the more I write the less readers I need. I think I will always need at least two.

So how does one go about finding a beta reader?
For me, friendships! My friend Scott G.F. Bailey has a mighty fine alpha/beta reader whom online he calls Mighty Reader. I'm not sure if she reads his work in the stages as it's being written, but I don't know she's close to him personally, and she is an avid reader. He trusts her to read his work because he trusts her as a person. He also lets me and our friend Davin Malasarn read his work in draft stages. The three of us are beta readers for each other, and occasionally alpha readers on some things. We also blog together on The Literary Lab. We're friends.

For my advice on how to find good beta readers - just get out there and make friends. If you're reading this blog, you obviously make your way around the blogosphere. Put a call out on your own blog or social network for other writers or readers who are interested in helping you beta read. If that doesn't work or the beta readers aren't giving the kind of feedback you need, join a free site like Critique Circle. Everyone there is looking for critique help. You're bound to find a few good matches for your work. Currently, one of my best beta readers is a friend I made through this very blog. She commented a lot on here, so I started following her blog where she only had 5 followers. We got to be friends and she ended up purchasing and reading Cinders. She loved it so much and gave me such great feedback on it that I let her beta-read my novella, Thirds. Now, she has read almost everything I've written. She's fantastic. I had to make an effort to find her and build a friendship. I value that friendship and her help with my work. I also return the favor and read her work, as well. That's often how beta reading goes, but doesn't always have to work that way. Find friends outside of the internet who are willing to read your work in its first stages - people you know who love reading. They are often the best beta readers, and valuable to have when you need an opinion not colored with a writer's viewpoint.

Are there different kinds of beta readers?
Absolutely. For me, a beta reader is someone I must trust and get along with. Two of my beta readers are friends I didn't make online through writing. They are my two friends who don't write. They are readers only, and their input is extremely valuable.

How many beta readers should you have?
As many as you need. I use a different amount of beta readers for different projects. Sometimes I need three, sometimes four or five, and I'll ask different people to beta read at different stages of the work. For the first draft, two betas will work. For the third and fourth drafts when I'm getting close to finished, another two betas (usually Scott and Davin) will work.

Should your beta readers stick with you?
It depends. For me, I have beta readers who read almost every project I work on, but I've also had other people who have only beta read for me once. Sometimes a beta reader isn't a good fit for you or a particular project. Sometimes a writer just needs different readers all the time. For me, it depends on the project for who reads what.

What if a beta reader is taking too long or isn't working?
I've had this happen a few times, and it's frustrating. But you have to remember that people are busy. If your beta reader promises to get back to you in a specific amount of time and they're taking longer, then maybe there's an issue with them not liking your work and they're too afraid to tell you. Or maybe they've had something come up that is unrelated to your work. Either way, communication is key. If the beta relationship isn't working and this person is a good friend, simply tell them you value their feedback, but for that particular project, it's not going to work out. Keep it professional. No friendship is worth ruining over a book, so be cautious when choosing your beta readers, too.

I could go on and on about beta readers, but let me know if you have any advice here in the comments section. Do you have beta readers?

Why Not to Self-Publish Your First-Ever Book So Fast

2011-08-08T07:51:00.010-06:00

**addendum - So I realized that my title was misleading because it sounded like I was saying not to ever publish your first book. I meant not self-publish your first-ever completed novel right off the bat. Sigh. The English language. I've since changed the title.**

So you can take this with a grain of salt, but I've had four writers ask me about self-publishing in the last week. All four of these writers have recently completed or are completing their very first novel. All four of them have self-publishing floating around as an option or they have decided to go with it for sure. Some of these writers seemed fed up with the state of legacy (traditional) publishers these days. Some of these writers specifically asked for my honest opinion.

My honest opinion is that everybody is different, but if you're considering self-publishing your first and only book so far, it might be a bad idea. Unless you're 83 or dying of cancer and you seriously don't have much time to write more books or try to publish another way, self-publishing your first book just seems crazy to me. Here's some of the things you should consider.

The Long Haul
You're in this for the long haul, right? You're going to write more books, right? Then write some of them first before jumping into an irreversible state. Sure, you can fix typos and other problems fairly easily (although sometimes it can cost you...), but once people have read your work, you've established yourself. That book is up on Amazon forever as soon as there is one sale. Even if you unpublish it, the cover is at least still there to view, as well as your name and all the book reviews. Goodreads won't let you delete your book if there's more than a certain number of reviews. Forever. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but my first book sucked. Yours is probably five billion times better than my first one, but I'll tell you one thing - those valuable lessons I learned about writing and publishing in between the time I wrote my second and fourth - unbelievable. Sure glad I didn't jump in too soon. I self-published my fourth book, by the way. It was only at that point I truly felt ready in all respects.

Planning Strategically
When you do finally publish, stuff happens fast. All of a sudden you have even less time to write and work on more books than you did before. All of a sudden everything changes. Completely. Your emotional state is different. Your time changes. Your priorities change. Even in traditional publishing, it's a good idea to have more than one book lined up ready to go. If you can crank out perfect books in 2 - 3 months, I'm seriously impressed. If you're like me and it takes a year to write a complete novel (not including edits and most revisions), then you should probably have some more books ready. This is, of course, assuming that you want your career moving at a steady pace. Most successful authors are successful because they keep publishing one book after another. That's what can "make" you as an author. Some authors seem to be lucky to make it big off their debut and people somehow remember them even if they take 5 years to write the next book, but those authors do seem few and far between, and there's usually a lot of marketing and money behind all of that.

I think it's important to have a nice plan in place before you publish. It's so very, very exciting to put your book out there, but have you planned what comes after that? Publishing is a career, or at least most writers see it that way. If you have a plan, is publishing other books in that plan? If so, do you have plans for them? Are they at least drafted? Have you made plans for taxes, long-term marketing and publishing budget, setting up a legal business, your website? Readers love to know when your next book is coming out, and wouldn't it be nice to put that in the back of the first book you put out so you can try and guarantee an established audience who's going to buy all of your work because they know they can expect more to come out soon?

Honestly, I didn't think a lot about this stuff when I self-published Cinders. I sure wish I had. But I'm glad I at least knew Cinders was the right book to publish at the time, and I don't regret it for one second. It just would have been nice if I'd had more of a plan for other books to come after that one. I'm also very lucky and glad that I had other books written by the time I signed with Rhemalda Publishing on Monarch. Now I have three books coming out in three years and that's comforting. But guess what? I'm still stressing out about that fourth book - the one I haven't written yet, nor have any idea what it will be about. But it's nice to know I have time to write it now while other books are coming out.

Time
I think the biggest mistake writers make is thinking that they're running out of time. They get really antsy. They watch their birthdays slide by one after the other and they're still not published. The truth is that, yes, publishing can take a very, very long time. Especially traditional publishing. It's kind of insane how long it can take, so it's depressing, absolutely. But I also think that it isn't a bad thing to publish later than sooner. In the end, a few years probably won't make that much of a difference in your career. It's still going to take you as long to write books, right? So get some ready first and then publish them in a way that gets them in front of your readers at a good pace. If you're traditionally publishing, it's a great idea to write books while you're querying or on submission and waiting.

And, of course, this is all just my opinion and you can wave your hand at me and say, "Bah!" Some of my good author friends did self-publish their first and only book, and they're doing just fine as far as I know. I also know this post falls into the "advice people just choose not to take" category, which is fine, too. Still, I like to put this out there because it's nice to share what I've learned, at least. But if you ask me if you should self-publish your first-ever novel, these are the things I'm going to tell you. I'm also going to direct you to these posts:

My Little Revision Secret (if you're dying to see your first little baby in print, this might be a good solution instead of self-publishing)

then if that fails, I'll self-publish... (a post with my thoughts on self-publishing for the wrong reasons)

Learning for Yourself

2011-08-05T09:55:00.000-06:00

Have you ever tried to give someone advice and they just don't listen? I always get so irritated because I can be impatient and egotistical. Listen to me! I've learned! I know what I'm talking about! Then they go and do the exact opposite of what you advised them to do. That's always just lovely. Then they come back and say, oh, you were right. It's so tempting to say I told you so.

I just finished talking with a good friend of mine about some publishing-related things and I was giving her some warnings about stuff and she kindly said thanks, but I don't think she's going to take the advice, which is fine. And you know, she probably won't have the same experiences as me with what I was warning her about. I hope she doesn't.

Then I look over at my daughter and realize it's the same sort of thing. I've been through things she hasn't been through, but will she really listen to me on half the things I warn her about when her friends are all doing the opposite? She might listen. Maybe. She might even follow my advice, but in the end, I had to make hard decisions and go against advice and better judgment to learn some valuable lessons. Everybody does.

So when it comes to writing and publishing, I write posts about what I learn. I talk about hard things. I worry and fret and hope those posts help someone - that someone is listening because people comment that they are listening, but are they, really? I've commented on so many posts that give advice, but did I end up taking the advice? More often than not, I didn't. Or I just forgot about it.

I look back on what people told me before I published and it surprises me at the things I just glossed over and didn't listen to. Even now I wonder if there's advice I'm not taking that I should. Then again, what kind of person would my daughter be if she didn't have her own experiences? Advice is great, but that whole "take it with a grain of salt" thing is very true. We all have to learn for ourselves what works for us. We all have our own paths, and although sometimes we need someone to help us find the way, we're usually just stubborn enough to do it ourselves. We're stronger because of it. So I give out my advice warily, but happily and don't get offended if it's not taken. I hope others aren't offended when I don't take their advice, either. Still, I seem to be a more open to it now than I was a few years ago. Funny how that works.

The Monarch Blog Tour! Butterflies and Spies You Can't Resist

2011-08-04T14:11:00.084-06:00

Don't miss out on my blog tour for Monarch! This tour is pretty low-key. From here on out I don't have to do much of anything since all the people in the list below are handling the reviews and giveaways all on their own. As you can see below, you have plenty of opportunities to sign up for a free book! Many of these reviewers will be giving away a free copy of Monarch.

Still, I'd love it if you can spread the word by putting up the button up above on your blog or site. That would be awesome. Thanks!

Here's a list of all reviewers who are putting up reviews and giving away a free copy of the book (although a giveaway is not guaranteed if the reviewer decides not to do one for whatever reason). If I've missed you on the list or if any information is incorrect, please let me know.

Cynthia Garcia - August 4th @ http://bookreaderaddictsgiveaways.blogspot.com/
Rie Conley - August 22nd @ http://missiontoread.com/
David Workman - September 1st @ http://davidworkman.wordpress.com/
Kristen Haskins - September 1st @ www.kristenhaskins.blogspot.com
Andrea Frisby - September 2nd @ literarytimeout.blogspot.com
Melissa Silva - September 2nd @ http://msilvabooks.blogspot.com
Misty Rayburn - September 2nd @ http://www.the-top-shelf.com
Danyelle Leafty - September 5th http://myth-takes.blogspot.com
Ernie Laurence - September 5th @ http://theinnocentflower.blogspot.com/
Kati Lear - September 5th @ http://klearsreviews.blogspot.com/
Yilin Wang - September 5th @ http://yilinwriter.wordpress.com/
Jessica Pitcairn - September 6th @ http://nayusreadingcorner.blogspot.com/
Tanya Contois - September 6th @ http://speedyreader-allthingsbooks.blogspot.com/
Taryn Tyler - September 6th @ taryntyler.blogspot.com
Donea Weaver - September 7th @ http://www.itwillhappenoneday.blogspot.com
Liana Brooks - September 7th @ http://lianabrooks.blogspot.com
Debbie Burns - September 8th @ http://dbsmyth.blogspot.com/
Stephanie Humphries - September 8th @ http://shumphreys.blogspot.com
Tamara Epps - September 9th @ http://emptythoughtsrewritten.blogspot.com
Scott Taylor - September 11th @ http://scottywattydoodlealltheday.blogspot.com/
Cherie Reich - September 12th @ http://surroundedbybooksreviews.blogspot.com
Chersti Nieveen - September 12th @ http://cherstinieveen.wordpress.com
Mary Vaughn - September 12th @ http://gigglesandguns.blogspot.com/
Yvonne Osborne - September 12th @ yvonneosborneblogspotcom.blogspot.com/
Mandy Hardman - September 13th @ www.mandyandmiah.blogspot.com
Jordan McCollum - September 14th @ http://JordanMcCollum.com

****SEPTEMBER 15th LAUNCH DAY!****

Divya Lagisetti - September 15th @ http://bookish-delights.blogspot.com/
Lexie Hogan - September 15th @ http://thebookbug-hogan.blogspot.com/
Rachel Brown - September 15th @ www.may-daysdaze.blogspot.com
Stephanie McGee - September 15th @ http://www.novicewriterchronicles.blogspot.com
Adam Gale - September 19th @ http://www.goodreads.com/
Davin Malasarn - September 19th @ http://literarylab.blogspot.com/
Diane Estrella - September 19th @ www.dianeestrella.com
Lois Moss - September 19th @ lamoss.blogspot.com
Christine Fonseca - September 20th @ http://christinefonseca.wordpress.com
Karen Hooper - September 20th @ www.karenamandahooper.com
C.N. Nevets - September 21st @http://nevets-qst.blogspot.com/
Laura Diamond - September 21st @ http://lbdiamond.wordpress.com/
Robin McCormack - September 21st @ www.mytwoblessings.com
Rebekah Montgomery - September 22nd @ http://aurelmedia.wordpress.com
Amanda Hudson - September 22nd @ www.thefictionfairy.com
Shari Bird - September 26th @ www.sharibird.blogspot.com
J.C. Martin - September 27th @ http://jc-martin.com/fighterwriter/
Kate Nelson - September 30th @ http://yzhabellasbookshelf.blogspot.com/
Cassie Hart - October 1st @ just-cassie.com
Susan Rowser - October 1st @ http://soozyreads.blogspot.com/
Jessica Bell - October 3rd @ http://thealliterativeallomorph.blogspot.com/
Judy Croome - October 3rd @ www.judycroome.blogspot.com
Margot Hovley - October 3rd @ www.margothovley.com
Chantele Sedgwick - October 4th @ http://chantelesedgwick.blogspot.com/
Christauna Asay - October 6th @ http://artnwritin.blogspot.com/2011/
Autumn Frailey - October 7th @ http://myhomeawayfromhome-fb.blogspot.com/
Linda - October 7th @ http://mostimportantletter.wordpress.com/
Charlie Courtland - October 7th @ http://bitsybling.blogspot.com/
Meghan Derico - October 8th @ www.courageanddreams.blogspot.com
Alice Priday - October 10th @ http://bestbooks1.blogspot.com/
Mary Campbell - October 11th @ writersbuttdoesnotapplytome.blogspot.com
Rosie Connolly - October 12th @ http://eastforgreeneyes.blogspot.com
Amy Laurens - October 13th @ http://ink-fever.blogspot.com
BK Walker - October 13th @ http://immortylcafe.blogspot.com
Misha Gericke - October 14th @ http://sylmion.blogspot.com
Raquel Vega-Grieder - October 15th @ http://skyla11377.blogspot.com

Doing a review, but no giveaway:

Karen Deem - August 6th http://www.amazon.com/review/
Ashley Knight - August 15th http://www.amazon.com/review/
Brandi Streeval -September 1st @ www.facebook.com/#!/fangirls2011
Tom Barczak - September 1st http://tombarczak.com/blog/
Vincent Kale - September 12th @ http://vincentkale.blogspot.com
Melissa Leventhal - September 15th @ http://ayearwithoutasoldier.blogspot.com/
Lynette Eklund - September 29th @ www.clatteringkeys.blogspot.com

Anyone who shares this button on their blog and lets me know in the comments will automatically be entered into a giveaway for their choice of a monarch butterfly prize:

Two winners will be chosen. Winners will be announced October 1st.

Let's Nix that "F" Word From Your Book, Michelle...

2011-08-02T17:29:00.001-06:00

I originally wasn't going to write about this or say anything about it publicly, but now that some time has passed and my final print run copies of Monarch are arriving tomorrow (hopefully), I don't feel awkward talking about it at all. In fact, it's nice to talk about it, so here we go.

I'm not going to write out the "f" word in my blog post, but I sure did write it out in my novel, Monarch. Twice. Oh my gosh, twice. At the time I wrote the book, I thought that word was necessary to cram into the mouth of my characters. The word was used in dialogue in two very appropriate places, I thought. In fact, even to this day, I don't mind the word where I put it, but I did end up taking it out in both places. Here's the story why, if you're interested.

First of all, let me lay it straight that I don't say the "f" word if I can ever help it. It's not something I like the taste of in my mouth, and although I don't believe for one second that words are inherently evil, I do think that they can have a strong impact. Also, I have a five-year-old and that word isn't something I want her hearing at home or coming out of my mouth. I'm certain she'll hear it at school later, but I have no control over that, and home is her role-model, so there you go.

Secondly, I don't usually mind some foul language in novels if it's not overused and feels realistic for the characters. I'm personally not a fan of making up curse words, but I won't get into that here. The whole idea of it just rubs me the wrong way, especially for contemporary fiction. Moving on, let me just say that when I wrote Monarch, I took my characters seriously and let them talk how they would really talk. Sure, they're somewhat of an extension of me, but they aren't all me, and they certainly have their own lives and personalities and free wills in my novel. So I wanted to keep it real, and that's how the ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) were printed - with that word in place.

Then I got an email from a sweet friend of mine who had started reading her copy of Monarch. I won't say what she said or anything, but her email got me thinking more about the language in my novel and what I really wanted to do. Honestly, I hadn't give the matter very much thought, even during edits. I should have. Let's just say I live in a very conservative area and that I will feel much more comfortable recommending and handing my book over to more people without that word in it.

I called up my publisher about this since the final print run copies hadn't been ordered from the printer yet, and they told me I had a small window of time to make up my mind whether I wanted the word taken out or not for the final print run and release of the book. They said they'd also redo the ebook versions since there were typos that needed to be fixed, anyway. I talked with them for about an hour going back and forth about what to do. It was ultimately my decision, of course. They didn't mind either way. I thought and thought and mulled and stewed and finally decided to take them out. Not because I felt pressured. Not because I regretted putting in the word. Simply because I finally realized that the book was not worse without the word and that because of where I live, I'd be more comfortable with it out.

For the rest of the world, I suppose this isn't a huge deal. The "f" word is used all the time without a second thought. It's printed even in YA fiction these days. It's allowed more and more in movies without raising the rating. For me, however, this was a big deal and something I really had to consider. So the ARCs of Monarch have the "f" word in them and every other Monarch book ever printed won't. Interesting, eh?

Dancing in the Shadows of Love - Don't Dance Around This One Like I Have!

2011-07-27T08:06:00.000-06:00

A few months ago my good friend Judy Croome made the huge leap into self-publishing. I was really excited for her and couldn't wait to read her book, but I wanted to read the print version instead of an ebook versions (because I'm stupid), so I waited for her to release the print version. When it finally came out a few weeks ago, I got the book and I still haven't read it because of my super-busy schedule. No excuse, I know.

Anyway, I've heard amazing things about this book, and reading Judy's interview down below that she was kind of enough to do with me, I'm itching even more to read Dancing in the Shadows of Love.

Judy's work is not your typical fiction, people. I have a feeling it's something very special. Don't wait like I have. Check it out and get reading!

Tell us a little about yourself as a writer.

I originally started writing romances and completed six full length romances. The last two both went through several rounds of editing with a major international romance publisher. One was finally turned down and, by the last set of edits for the second manuscript, I’d changed so much as a writer, that I made the decision not to pursue a career as a romance author. I just read them for relaxation now!

I still write about the human search for love, though, because Romantic Love is not the only type of Love that exists. When I write now, I just approach the search for love from a different angle and explore emotional, family, platonic and other forms of love.

Tell us about “Dancing in the Shadows of Love”

In the haunting “Dancing in the Shadows of Love,” three emotionally adrift women fight to heal their fractured worlds. Not everyone can be a hero. Or can they?

The story explores the sacrifices people make in the pursuit of a love that transcends everyday existence. Lulu’s quest, and that of Jamila and Zahra too, is to find the divine love that will fulfil their hopes and save their souls...if they can recognise the masks of those who seek to lead them astray.

Joseph Campbell speaks of quests as a kind of "enlightened return," a kind of spiritual enlightenment. Did you have such a notion in mind when you wrote the novel?

I don’t plan my novels – I prefer to write the first draft free style – and when I’d finished the first draft of this novel I realised that not only was it a novel about forgiveness (which was my conscious theme), but that Lulu, Jamila and Zahra had, each in a different way, searched for spiritual enlightenment. Whether their individual quests were successful or not is up to the reader to decide.

Where can we find out more about “Dancing in the Shadows of Love”?

You can watch the book trailer or read an interview with me about the book or read an interview with the cover artist Wenkidu or read chapter one. I’m also currently building a dedicated blog which will provide book club questions, discussions of themes and other interesting titbits about the story.

What is the best thing you’ve heard or read about “Dancing in the Shadows of Love”?

I’ve had lots of lovely compliments about my writing. My favourite comments about this story came from two different agents, both from the US and both who ultimately rejected my work because they couldn’t categorise it and thus felt they couldn’t sell it. Agent one called it “a genius piece of work” and Agent two said, “Your writing is seductive and lyrical and I think you're a real talent.” Neither of these comments are of any practical value, but they did keep me going on the dark days when I wanted to give up on my writing and on this story.

What is the worst thing you’ve heard or read about “Dancing in the Shadows of Love”?

I’ve read a few bad things about this novel, which formed part of my Master’s thesis. One of the examiners (a multi-award winning literary poet here in South Africa) said in her examiner’s report, “She has no imagination and can’t write a good novel.” The second worst thing came from another South African, a reader for a local publishing company who said, “At heart it's a Mills and Boon romance, dollied up with the trappings of fantasy literature; an odd mix of genres and a weird mixture of naivety and crudity.” Both reports were savage and cut deeply.

The one thing I found interesting, though, was that both of these people made references to things that were not in the novel! The only conclusion I could come too (and it’s probably what saved me from slitting my wrists in despair) was that my story had perhaps touched on personal issues they had and invoked these negative reactions from them. Funnily, I found out that I prefer any strong reaction to indifference. To me, it would have been worse if they’d both said “Ho-hum, what a bore!”

If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

I’d get people to remember that the name of our species is “humanKIND” and, when dealing with other people and, especially with animals, I’d change the world so that people can see that kindness and gentleness are qualities to value and cultivate. In “Dancing in the Shadows of Love,” Grace says to her daughter-in-law Zahra, ‘Oh no, dear, gentleness isn’t weakness.’ Her hand, suspended in midair, trembled with emptiness and fell to her side. ‘How easy it is to be bitter or angry; that’s when you’re at your weakest! But when you choose to be kind, to forget your hurt, that’s when you find within the greatest strength of all.’

If you were a bird, which one would you be?

A Cape Robin. They’re so friendly, delicate and graceful, and brave for their size.
Michelle, thanks, for this opportunity to share some of my thoughts with and your readers. I really enjoyed my visit and I’d like to ask you to draw the name of a random commentator, who will win a copy of my novel “Dancing in the Shadows of Love” (available as eBook or print.)

You can find Dancing in the Shadows of Love on Amazon.

Or enter a free giveaway here on Goodreads.

Judy Croome lives and writes in Johannesburg, South Africa. Her short stories ‘Born Beneath a Balsamic Moon’ and ‘Heroes Day’ have been published in ITCH magazine. Other short fiction and poetry appeared in “Notes from Underground Anthology.” She was recently shortlisted in the African Writing Flash Fiction 2011 competition. “Dancing in the Shadows of Love” is available as both a print and eBook from Amazon.com, and as an eBook from Barnes & Noble and Smashwords.

I'm Back! Pictures and Everything!

2011-07-26T14:15:00.002-06:00

My writing retreat was pretty much an epic adventure of awesome fun, friends, writing, and cooking. There was also a lot of heat and bugs, but we can forget about those. I attended this retreat with the following writers below:

From left to right: Me, Renee Collins, Candice Kennington, Jenn Johansson, Kasie West, Sara Raasch, and Natalie Whipple

I love these guys. A lot. They all write young adult and I'm a bit of the odd one out in adult fiction land, but they never make me feel that way. Next year my book release is pretty much young adult, anyway, and these amazing writers helped me out with some of my final revisions. I owe them a lot.

So what did we do for four whole days? We drove and laughed and ate a lot of Junior Mints and then we arrived at the cabin in beautiful southern Utah.

We laughed some more and made wonderful food and had readings every night where each of us got to read out loud from our current works in progress. We also had a very effective troubleshooting session and also went into Capitol Reef where we jumped in a river and played in the sun amidst the beautiful red rocks and blue sky. I took some pictures, of course, but not many. I was so exhausted from staying up late every night that I just didn't have the energy. I did get this fun shot, but I had to wake up at 6:30 a.m. to get it.

I highly recommend writing retreats. I feel all rejuvenated with my priorities in the right place. Amazing how getting away can help you see the things that truly matter. Thank you to Candice's family for allowing us to crash the cabin for the weekend! And thank you to all my friends for being just plain awesome and amazing people!

I'm Leaving! A Real Break!

2011-07-22T07:00:00.000-06:00

Hey, everyone! I'm out of here for the rest of the week (besides a scheduled post on Friday for a friend and his book coming out). I'll probably be gone half of next week, too, because I need a break from a lot of things right now. The sad thing is I feel like I'm always saying I need a break. I need more endurance!

Anyway, I'm heading out to a writer's retreat this weekend with some good writer friends and a lot of cheese. Me and my friend Natalie Whipple are in charge of the food, and we both love cheese, so there you go.

I'll be enjoying some time away from my child and laundry and all that day-to-day stuff. Maybe I'll get more written on Scales!

Have a great week, everyone!

The Whole "Self-Publishing Surge" Is Not New

2011-07-18T10:13:00.007-06:00

When I stopped writing after college, there was a five year break where I didn't write anything except one poem. That really depressed me. I was afraid my Muse had packed her bags for good and that I would never write again. Five years is a long time not to write. That's a pretty freaking long break. I was going a bit insane - not because I was trying to write and couldn't (I was newly married with a full-time job), but because I didn't have an outlet for my creative energy. My job was far from demanding creative energy. So what did I do? I bought a camera and started taking pictures.

Ah, photography.

My pictures sucked at first. They were awful, but my brother who was taking photography classes in college at the time helped me out. He taught me the basics and I started delving into the fantastic world of light. It was amazing and I fell in love. I learned photography using film. I believe in starting with the very basics and moving up, and after a few years my photography blossomed. My favorite became portraits, and I was excited to open my own business and start making money!

Then everything came to a screeeeeching halt.

Turns out I wasn't the only young working female in my state who thought, "Oh, when I'm staying at home with my young children I'll open up a photography business and that way I can make money from home and do something I love."

Turns out everybody had the same idea because, well, all of a sudden good photography was becoming cheaper with the rise in affordable digital cameras. Quite frankly, it pissed me off to no end. My career idea seemed like it had been shattered. Everybody around me wanted to be a photographer all of a sudden. Everybody had the same idea as me, and it was unfair and terrible because the better I got the more I could see that I simply couldn't compete with the hundreds of other photographers around me. I didn't feel their quality was as good as mine, but their prices...well, their prices were way lower than mine and when it comes to where I live, people are cheap so they usually choose the cheaper price over the higher quality. Where did that leave me? Frustrated and angry because their was no way I was going to lower my prices for the amount of work I put into my work. NO WAY.

So where did this lead me? I'm happy to say that it led me back to writing. After five years my brain was getting back to the point where writing seemed more doable. One cold day in February I'd had it. I was tired of doing the same thing over and over and over and over at home with my 8-month old. I was just done. My husband came home and I said, "Honey, I'm going to write again." He had no idea what I meant by that...

Needless to say, I dived in headfirst and it took a full two years before I was back up to par where I'd been in college, and then even longer to get my fiction to a point where I truly thought it was publishable. Now, years later, I'm looking at my photography experience in the same exact light as the self-publishing surge in the writing world. With the rise in e-books and digital publishing, getting a book out there for sale is more doable than ever. It's almost exactly like the problem professional studios have come across with amateur photographers and their super-low prices. Suddenly business is spread out more and consumers are going elsewhere to get their products - even at "lesser quality" - and oh, yes, we can argue up and down which is better quality in both worlds.

It has been a bit frustrating to me to have worked in two fields where it feels like there's a bit of "undercutting" going on. However, I've been a part of that undercutting in both instances. In photography I was an amateur charging less than big studios, but producing quality product, and now in publishing I've self-published my own novella, Cinders, and been part of that whole "self-publishing thing." Now I'm in with a legacy (traditional) publisher, however, and I'm seeing both sides of the fence. Needless to say, it's interesting. Also, I have some very good friends who don't have big photography studios, but they produce quality work at affordable prices.

I think there's a place for everyone, honestly, and I think it's a wonderful thing that people who couldn't get into things before because of cost can now have a chance. I certainly wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for those opportunities.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that the surge in "doing-it-yourself" ideology is not new. I have found my own niche back into photography by doing things on the side. I am frequently hired to work on book covers or designs for clients, and I still work at improving my photography whenever I can even though it is not my main focus. I think that all of us can find our own places (even large traditional publishers) if we employ our creativity wisely. We don't all have to be scrambling for the exact same thing.

When Writing Feels Easy, Does That Mean You're Doing Something Wrong?

2011-07-13T09:36:00.003-06:00

I was talking to a photography friend of mine who said she was working on some pictures and was shocked that all she had to do was adjust a few things and the photo was done. She said she felt like she should have had to do more in Photoshop. More tweaking. More SOMEthing to make it perfect...but it was already great straight out of the camera that all she had to do was adjust a little bit and it was finished and beautiful.

I don't know about you, but I've felt this way about some of my writing lately. Yes, it needs some tweaking, but sometimes that's all it needs. Tweaking. Then it's done. My short stories are this way. I rarely heavily revise them, and lately, my novel-writing has been running down a similar vein. Revisions are necessary, yes, but nothing like what I went through with my novel Monarch. You know, rewriting the ENTIRE freaking book from scratch at one point? Yeah. I've had similar experiences on another novel, as well. It makes me wonder if I'll ever to do that again on another novel. Maybe. Maybe not. It wasn't fun, but it sure taught me a lot about writing.

My question today is one I'm kind of afraid to ask: When writing feels easy, does that mean you're doing something wrong? Does it mean you've become stagnant? Does it mean you should be working harder?

By EASY I don't mean that you're not working because I work dang hard on my writing. Right now I'm working on Scales, and it's seriously like squeezing blood from a stone. However, when I read over what I've done so far, I don't see that I'll be rewriting the book. Not even close. Maybe I love my work more. Maybe it's that I learned a lot writing the 5 novels before it and I'll never go back to the "have to revise this whole blasted book" stage to get it right. So it's just a matter of feeling easy in comparison to what it was before.

Or maybe not.

Maybe I'm just getting lazier.

Then I remembered what I told my photography friend. I said something along the lines of - "Another photographer with the same equipment, lighting, studio setup, costumes, etc., isn't going to get the same fantastic results as you without putting in the same amount of work you've put in. You've worked your butt of for years to get this right, and now you're there. You've built up instinct, talent, and experience. Those things aren't anything you can buy or have someone teach you."

And there you go, because the same thing goes for writing. I've spent over half my life learning how to write, and some things just come easier now. I will never, ever stop learning and growing and fighting to write better every day. Some elements will still be difficult, and I hope it stays that way. I guess it's like learning how to walk, in a way. That must have been hard to learn when I was a toddler. Now, though, I can just go for a walk and pay attention to other things besides how to move my feet.

I think it's important to review the basics every now and then, but it sure is nice to look back and see how far I've traveled. It has been a wonderful journey, and I'm excited to continue on.

My Little Revision Secret

2011-07-11T09:51:00.000-06:00

I guess this won't be a secret any longer!

I'll admit that drafting a novel is not my favorite part of writing. My favorite part? Revising! I truly love it more because drafting always feels like squeezing blood from a stone for some reason. I love working with clay more than I love making the clay, I guess. That's how I view it.

Currently I am working on my novella, Scales. It's hard for me because it's in the drafting stage. New world, new characters, new plot twists, new everything. And dragons! That's the best part, of course. I love this book. It's fun, but draining on so many levels, and I haven't even reached the dragon part yet. Sigh.

When I get too exhausted to draft, I turn back to revising/editing/tweaking my novel, The Breakaway, which is due to my publisher in September. So, you may ask, what is this little revision secret of yours? I'll tell you! I used to print out my drafts on paper. It was such a pain. Now, when I reach this very, very last point in my revision stage before turning a book in to my editor, I print it out using Lulu - a self-publishing site. It's pretty simple to format the book and design a cover (although you don't have to do anything fancy for the cover if you don't want to). This way, I have an actual printed book. It's incredible what I catch reading my work this way. It's even better than on my Kindle. I can write directly in the book, too. Notes and scribbles and arrows and all sorts of junk. Can't do that on my Kindle. I still have my copy of Monarch that I did this with before submitting it to Rhemalda last September.

You might be saying, well, I don't want to self-publish my book! But Lulu lets you keep everything private, so you can order one copy of the book and be done. Sometimes I send these copies to trusted critique partners. Lulu is more expensive than any other self-publishing site I've seen, but they are so easy to use, and it's quick and easy to order a manuscript for editing. Plus I can keep the margins nice and big for lots of writing.

There's something about holding my book in this form that helps my brain get into the - "this is going to be published soon, so you'd better make all the necessary changes NOW" mode. I think this is a good mode for any writer to get into if they're about to send their book out for querying, submissions, anything of that sort.

To give you an idea of price, The Breakaway cost me $8.70 to print, plus shipping (usually $3 something). Monarch cost me $10.58 to print, but it was way longer than The Breakaway in draft form.

Anyway, that's my little secret. It has been fun to keep these marked-up copies on my shelf, and it sure makes editing a lot easier for me. I only do this in the last stages, though. I couldn't afford to do this for every draft. I use my Kindle and my netbook for those.

"I'm your best friend. I'm your worst nightmare. I'm your target audience."

2011-07-06T10:09:00.007-06:00

Hello, everyone! I'm excited to announce that my publisher, Rhemalda Publishing, has recently released their newest edition of the Rhemalda Opus - their online magazine they release quarterly. It's filled with some awesome things you don't want to miss. Check it out!

Wonder What Goes On Behind the Scenes?
Rhemalda has what they call a Manuscript Submissions Team, and they've included an article written by one of these reviewers. As this reviewer says - "I'm your best friend. I'm your worst nightmare. I'm your target audience." This is fascinating stuff!

Coming Soon!
I'm really excited about my fellow Rhemalda author, Candace Bowen Early's book, Spur of the Moment (a historical time-travel romance, I think), which comes out in the spring of 2012. I mean, check out some of this art! Rhemalda hasn't unveiled her cover yet, but I sure hope they do soon! Her book looks simply magical!

Doug's Story
My fellow Rhemalda author, Douglas R. Brown, has been included in the Opus with his short story, "No Life Too Small." I haven't read it yet, but I plan to! The art for this is fantastic, too!

And...
I have an article in the Opus, as well! Rhemalda really liked the guest post I did awhile ago on the Fae Awareness Month Blog and decided to include it in their magazine. They put together a beautiful layout for this! Thank you, Rhemalda! If you didn't get a chance to read this article before, I hope you do now! It gives some great insight into my novella, Cinders using the movie Legend.

If that's not enough to convince you to go look at the Opus, you'll want to check out Amber Argyle's short story, "Huntress"! Also, Rhemalda announces their eBook First line!

What They Don't Tell You About a Launch

2011-07-05T09:24:00.007-06:00

Don't ask me why I didn't know any of this, but I didn't. At first I thought it's because I don't have a huge New York publisher, but I had no idea that traditionally published authors are expected to throw their own launch party. Then I started asking around and discovered that other authors - even most with large New York publishing houses - throw their own launch parties and signings. By "throw" I mean schedule, pay for, and plan. Some authors, of course, seem lucky enough to have groups of friends who band together and plan it all, but I've never even done that for someone, so I certainly didn't expect anyone to do that for me. It's a lot of work! I have had one friend who has taken a lot on her shoulders, though, and is helping me out (and actually pushed me into finally finding a place to throw my Monarch launch party). Thank you, Alicia. *smile*

I was getting very discouraged for awhile there. Where I live, lots of people write, and lots of people are published. It seems to have affected how many authors are received by anyone dealing with books. I mean, living amongst so many authors is AWESOME, but it seems a lot of places aren't very accommodating to local authors (at least if you're new and unheard of and write adult fiction, from what I've run against). Maybe it matters who my publisher is, but that even makes me more irritated. Maybe it has something to do with my personality or how I ask. Who knows. All I knew is that if getting lucky enough to strike the "right chord" with someone just to get a launch party planned, I was doomed. I'm not a charismatic people person. I don't deal well with all this kind of face-to-face people stuff, and therefore, I was getting to the point where a launch party seemed stupid and unnecessary.

I threw my launch party for Cinders, my self-published novella, in my car port. Yes, my car port. The same place I took the photo for the cover. It seemed appropriate, and honestly, I had an absolute blast. Lots of people came and I sold and signed lots of books. For Monarch, however, I didn't want to repeat the same thing. I wanted something a little more professional and exciting because Monarch feels so much bigger to me, so I decided to think outside the box...

Your Launch Does Not Have to Be Near Other Books
This was news to me at first. I discovered after awhile that some people throw their launches - or at least their signings - in places like coffee shops and cafes. Some people have seen them happen at a Pizza Hut, some at a park, some in small convention centers. None of these host lots of books, and I've heard that these places might even work better because the people who come (especially people in cafes and coffee shops) are more comfortable approaching an author's signing table when it's not in a bookstore or library. They have food in their hands and aren't focused on other books - just yours.

Hmmm...I thought.

After putting up a plea on Facebook for ideas of where I could throw my Monarch launch party, I was thrilled to see what people had to say. Then one person mentioned a place near where I live, and everything went CLICK!

A few hours later, I stood in a little cafe asking the lovely employees about throwing my launch party there. They gave me the manager's number, which I called soon after, and was excited to discover how nice the lady was, and how accommodating. Finally!

You Have to Be Comfortable
I've heard from other Rhemalda Publishing authors that they haven't had too hard of a time finding venues for their launches and signings, but every situation is different. Honestly, I didn't try many conventional places like bookstores and libraries. Yet. I may try others in the future for signings. I haven't even gone into the local Barnes & Noble yet, but the very idea freaks me out. I don't know why. I'll build up the necessary courage eventually. All I knew a few days ago was that I needed a place I was excited about - a place that fit me and my book. And, happily, I found that place.

It's a dessert cafe called The Chocolate, with this look (all photos by Jonathan Canlas Photography):

If you've read Monarch, you know how perfect this is. It reminds me of what the Monarch Inn might look like. The store is an old house. It's got a creaky staircase going upstairs. It has little nooks and crannies and windows and rooms. It's just perfect. Plus they have desserts! Desserts play a happy little role in Monarch, and I'll gladly be providing some amazing to-die-for brownies at the launch (similar to the kind that a character in Monarch makes) Plus cupcakes. They might have butterflies on them - I haven't found out yet.

So, as you can see, I found a place that fits me and my book! For you, it might be a library or a little bookstore or a big chain bookstore. For me, it's something small. It feels so good to be excited about my book again. I've been in such a terrible funk lately, but I finally decided to get over the bad things and focus on the good. It has been difficult and hard work to make myself get there, but it's happening!

If you live near me in Utah and would like to come to my Monarch launch party at The Chocolate on October 15th, 2011, check out the information here on Facebook and please mark yourself as attending or maybe attending. If you don't have a Facebook account, just email me.

A Book as an Event
I personally don't think every book in my life should be a huge event like this. Every book is important and special, but I can't imagine going to this much trouble every single time I publish a book. I plan to write many. I have one coming out for the next two years, and I plan on two more right after that. For my first traditionally published novel, however, this kind of thing feels necessary - for me, at least. It's a huge event in my life to celebrate this kick-off to my career, and like my friend Alicia told me, it's something I should properly celebrate. I hope others will join me in the celebration - online and in real life. For those who can't make it to The Chocolate, you can expect me to be mailing out some chocolate goodies to some lucky winners during that week!

Following Up On the Publishing Lie

2011-06-28T17:41:00.002-06:00

I honestly had no idea that yesterday's post would receive the hits and feedback that it did, nor did I believe (maybe deep down I knew) that the post would affect me on a level that I was trying to protect in the first place.

The plain, utterly deniable truth is that I am THRILLED with where I am! My writing, my book that is about to be released, and the people who have made it all happen - Rhemalda Publishing, have all been huge blessings in my life, and I am truly happy. I love Rhemalda Publishing dearly, and I love my fellow authors - and most of all, I love my readers. I am one lucky girl to be able to write as much as I do, as freely as I do, and that I have a publisher who will support me in more than one genre. LUCKY!

On the other hand, it really is nobody's business how you feel about anything - until you make it their business and say it or post it in public. I did that yesterday, and I'm not sorry about it, and I'm not going to pretend that this journey is any easier than it is, and I'm not going to fake my happiness on my own blog. My readers come here because they know I am honest, and they trust me. I would hate to ruin that at any point in my career.

The problem these days is what J.S. Chancellor talked about in her comment on yesterday's post:

Everything else, however ... the technicalities of turning our blood-rendered works of art into commodities, makes my stomach turn. We can't just check out. The internet has not only made people unbelievably rude, but accessible. At one point, an author had to buy a paper to see what people were saying about their book.... Distance is impossible.

And maybe that is the biggest problem of all. Some of us like less distance than others. Some of us eat up that closeness. Some of us wither. Some of us handle it better than others. But in my corner of the world, this whole transition of becoming more visible, more vulnerable, and more available for the general public to poke at and scrutinize and judge, makes me incredibly uncomfortable - as does feeling the pressure to produce an excellent product by not only the public, but people who have invested in you. I want to be honest, but that opens my veins up even more for bleeding. So there must be a fine balance, a professional balance, and I am learning that balance. I appreciate every single person who is understanding of that.

The more I've thought about all this, the more I've seen that finding happiness in my career as a writer isn't as much about enjoying the journey as it is about understanding where I am. For me, understanding where I am opens the door for me to find that happiness, and I now understand that publishing a book brings not only happiness, but pain - sometimes so much that it can drown everything else if you let it get to that point. It is the pain that many authors keep their lips zipped about. In a way, over the course of my life, this is what led me into the lie - a lie I told myself over and over that publishing is a direct route to finding happiness in my career. I simply couldn't keep denying that I had told myself that lie and believed it for so long. But now that I've talked about it, I can move forward much easier than I could before. I'm ready to embrace the rest of this exciting adventure, and I'm excited that you're here to share it with me.

The Biggest Lie in Publishing History

2011-06-27T09:38:00.007-06:00

Last week I wrote a long, emotional post on my private blog. I put up that post on my private blog because I was afraid to talk about those feelings in public, and I was afraid to say that I've been unhappy lately. After days and days of stewing and whining and crying, several events have led me here to my public blog to talk about the biggest lie I have ever believed. It's also the biggest lie I think every writer believes. This is not the post I put on my private blog. That one still seems too raw and close to my heart to let out into the world, but this post contains a few raw things, as well, so read on if you're interested.

There are a lot of things published authors don't talk about publicly - usually traditionally published authors. I don't know about you, but I've noticed in my years of blogging that once an author snags an agent, the focus of their blog usually changes. Once they sell a book, it changes even more. Once their book is close to its release date, they start to seem distant. They talk about publishing a lot. Their posts contain carefully planned honesty. Something seems like its missing, and more often than not, that missing piece is never shown after they are published. A sort of veil goes up. A wall, even, and thus we come to the division between the published and the unpublished. Even worse, there is a division between the self-published and the traditionally published. But this isn't really a discussion between self and traditional publishing. It's deeper than that.

I may be generalizing, but these divisions are painfully real. It's how I've seen it. It's nothing against published authors, no matter how they're published. Heck, I'm a published author with one self-published book and one traditionally published book which is at that close-to-release-date point. Have I put up that veil? That wall? You bet I have. Except, in this post, I want to knock part of it down, even if just for a moment.

I think most writers go through a cycle. There's the newbie phase where everything is about the book. Everything. There's a sort of numb-like happiness going on. Ignorance is bliss, I might say. Then that writer moves into another phase, and that might include a second book or a third, or maybe they're still on their first, but they become aware of other writers - even more, they become aware of publishing. It's a vague thing in the background - a glittering aspiration that's not even considered a reality yet. Then the worst phase hits. The writer feels the need to get published. They feel like they're ready. This is where the DREAM enters in, and where trouble starts. Some writers are blind to where their writing lies, if it's truly ready for publication, and some writers seem very aware of where their work stands. Either way, most writers themselves (whether their work is or not) are never ready for publication. It's pretty much like becoming a parent. Nothing ever truly prepares you for that. Then there's the next phase, the phase I'm in, and that's actual publication. This is where the huge transitions take place. This does not include getting an agent. That was in the previous phase. No, I'm talking about actual publication, whether you're going at it yourself or through a publisher.

I'll be honest. Self-publishing was a transition, but it was not the same as traditional. There are many factors, but the main factor being that everything was literally coming from me. Even if I had hired editors and cover artists, etc., it was still all through me. My business. My decisions. Nobody was relying on me, and if I failed, it only affected me and maybe a few other close loved ones. That's it. Traditional has been monumentally different because it's not just me. It's a lot of other people, and the book is larger distribution-wise, and it's permanent. So, now that I've explained that, I can say that at least for me, traditional publication has been a completely different emotional ride. In a lot of ways, it has been harder.

That aside, I must get into the main point of my post, which is the Big Lie. Remember that DREAM I mentioned above? That dream is part of the lie. It also can't be avoided, in my opinion. If you desire publication, you've most likely faced the DREAM head-on. For a lot of authors it includes grand things like a large publisher, world domination (*cough* I mean foreign rights sales), a hardback debut, a perfect agent to guide you through everything, and a large amount of cash, whether that be in an advance or through sales or, of course, both. It also includes recognition, respect, and the ability to keep publishing and writing successfully according to the world's standard of success. Well, don't let go of that beautiful dream because no matter what anyone tells you, it IS possible. I've seen versions of it happen to a lot of authors I know. However, the dream isn't the complete lie because it can certainly happen. There's a version of this dream in the self-publishing world, as well, and it also contains Big Huge Things that happen to only a small percentage of authors.

The problem with the DREAM? It relies on outside forces to make you happy, and as we all should know, that's a problem. If you hang your hopes - even subconsciously (and that's very easy to do) - on that dream making you happy, EVERY SINGLE THING that does not meet that dream is going to shove you down flat on your face and mess with your head and your happiness.

So, what's the lie? The lie is that once you reach a certain point in your writing career, you will be happy. When you finish your book, you'll be happy. When you get a full request from an agent, you'll be happy. When you get an agent offer, you'll be happy. When you sell your book, you'll be happy. When you make more than 50 sales a week on your self-published novel, you'll be happy. When you get a large advance, you'll be happy. When you you get an offer from a publisher on your self-published book, you'll be happy. When you get your first gushing fan mail letter, you'll be happy. Get the point?

The truth is, I think we all fall into this terrible trap, not only in our writing careers, but our lives in general. You have fallen into it, you are in it right now, or you have been there or are about to go there. It's like a required stop, it seems. As for writing, though, unfortunately, I have to tell you that debuting a novel is not super fun. In fact, the stress, the emotional strain and drama and pressure, pretty much sucks the life out of most of the excitement I had going. I'll even admit that on some days I would just take it all back and not publish at all. Putting Cinders, my self-published novella, out into the world was exciting, and I wouldn't change that experience. It was scary and difficult, but it was exciting, and the excitement won out. Putting out Monarch...well, that has been different. It seems the more I learn about publishing, the more disappointed I am in any dream - because even if I met all those things the dream can offer, I would still be disappointed. How can I say this? Because I have some close friends who are published authors, and they are all on completely different paths - big paths, small paths, even the dream path, and every single one of them has admitted their disappointment in one thing or another, usually with a lot of pain in their voices.

The bottom line of the lie is that publishing will make you happy. It will not make you happy. It only makes things harder and more complicated to find happiness in your writing career. You'll have brief stints of elation. I have, but in the end, it's all fades away like a rainbow. If you want happiness in publishing, you're going to have to look beyond publishing, I can promise you that. It's just like marriage or having a child or landing a dream job. Just because you find your true love and get married, that does not mean you are set for life in the happiness department. It requires constant work, constant reevaluation, and constant positive thinking despite your circumstances.

One of my favorite quotes is from Scott Hamilton's book, The Great Eight. He sure went through a lot of crap in his career and in his life in general, but in this book he talks about how he has found lasting happiness in his life. One of the key things I've found is this:

Many times people get tied to the disappointment of what failed rather than focusing on the success that awaits them in the next opportunity.

Using this as a base, I've found that no matter where you're at in your writing career, there is always more opportunity when things don't go the way you dreamed. Part of what makes writers amazing is our ability to be creative, and we should let that seep into every aspect of writing, including our publishing path. I'm not with a huge publisher, so there are a lot of things that I could let disappoint me in the choice I've made. I don't get a hardback debut novel. I don't get an advance. I don't get thousands of dollars poured into marketing. I didn't even get my book mentioned in Publishers Weekly. Woe is me. Poor, poor me. I should be disappointed. I have friends who have SO much more than me. They got amazing deals, thousands of dollars, beautiful hardback books with pearly jacket covers and embossed titles, even paid book tours. And as I've already admitted, I've felt a lot of stress in this huge life transition of writing as a side hobby to writing as something very serious. The thing is, taking something too seriously that is supposed to be fun will kill you in the end. So I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm going to remember the essentials, the basics of why I'm here doing any of this - TO GROW. It all comes down to that, doesn't it?

I think one of the most important things in life is to allow ourselves to grow. Every choice we make, every step that helps us evolve into a better person, a better writer, a better friend, is something we should embrace and enjoy, no matter how difficult it is and no matter where we are at on our personal path. Publishing your novels will not bring you happiness, but embracing the changes (good and bad!) that it will bring into your life no matter where you're at in that journey, will bring you happiness. Understand that your dreams will change as you grow, and you must learn to change with them. Failure belongs only to those who stand still as opportunities pass them by.

**follow-up on the publishing lie**

My Cold Feet for Publishing

2011-06-21T08:25:00.002-06:00

It's true. As the publication date for Monarch approaches, I'm getting cold feet. Never mind that dozens of readers have the ARC in their possession. Never mind that there is NOTHING I can do to change anything about the book except for some typos and a few slight tweaks for the final print run and digital release. Never mind that I've already put one book out there and dealt with negative reviews and readers and also amazing reviews and readers. Never mind that I LOVE this book. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Never mind that I also hate it.

All of these emotions, all of this energy, all of this build-up...

I think the main point I'm missing is that when it finally is released, nothing much will change. I'll probably go out to dinner, maybe eat some chocolate and kiss my husband and smile a lot. But I won't know true sales figures until months later. I won't receive any royalty checks until months later, and by then I will have a nice little stack of reviews being posted here and there through September and October from the ARCs. Hopefully they are mostly positive, but will it matter? Does any of this matter?

I pick up my book and hold it and I'm not sure any feeling in my career really compares to that feeling. I felt it with Cinders and I felt it with Monarch, and quite honestly, it has nothing to do with the book being published or read by anyone. It all has to do with the fact that it's finished, edited, complete.

For those of you who are unpublished, don't define yourself by that. My friend J.S. Chancellor put up an excellent post a few days about about defining ourselves by our publication status, and how utterly stupid that is. And destructive. I am published, yes, but when my books are finally out there, it is not the fact that they are out there that means the most to me. When all is said and done, what has mattered the most is the fact that I finished the book in the first place, and how much those characters mean to me. Getting published is extra special because the book becomes more polished, more permanent, more read, and my cold feet only have to do with those things - not the book itself. No negative review or low sales figures (or great reviews or high sales figures) will change what I've learned from this book, or how it has helped me grow as a writer. I think, in the end, it is THAT which means the most to me - what this book taught me, what the characters mean to me, and how the book itself has spurred me on to write more books.

So bring on the cold feet. I know I'll still worry and fret as the release date grows closer, but for me, the best part of the book has already happened - the fact that I finished and got it to a place where I'm 100% happy with it. Nothing will erase that. Ever. Remember, published or unpublished, you are a writer, an author, and a creative person who strives for the ultimate goal of creating something you're proud of. Don't ever let the little publication tag get in your way, because it doesn't change anything in the end. It only overshadows the best part.